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Writing Samples
Band 7

Writing Task 1 The bar chart shows the number of hours worked by men & women per week in Australia in 2007. Summarise information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Writing Task 1 The bar chart shows the number of hours worked by men & women per week in Australia in 2007. Summarise information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #hours #men #women #week #australia #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given bar graph illustrates the percentage of utilized time for working by Australian male and female employees during a
week
Use synonyms
 in 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, the reports show that Australian
men
Use synonyms
 spent more
hours
Use synonyms
 occupying a
week
Use synonyms
 rather than
women
Use synonyms
. Both genders spent their most between 30-50
hours
Use synonyms
 a
week
Use synonyms
 in their working fields,
whereas
Linking Words
 equally consumed time over 80
hours
Use synonyms
 for gaining money.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in the year 2007, less than a fifth of
women
Use synonyms
 had a job with 0-10 working
hours
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 a minimal percentage of
men
Use synonyms
 had the same job conditions.
Similarly
Linking Words
, in the 10-20
hours
Use synonyms
, with over a fifth of females and approximately 12% of males.
However
Linking Words
, the situation changed
in contrast
Linking Words
, when these two Australian genders had 30-50
hours
Use synonyms
 of work. In
this
Linking Words
 group, over two-fifths of
men
Use synonyms
 were working in a
week
Use synonyms
, almost 8% more than
women
Use synonyms
 with 35%.
Although
Linking Words
 the male population was again greater than
women
Use synonyms
 in working conditions with 60-80
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
, the total percentage had dropped significantly for both of them.
Men
Use synonyms
's working duration was 30%
while
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
 spent about 18% in
this
Linking Words
 situation.
Moreover
Linking Words
, one in ten males and females in Australia had spent over 80
hours
Use synonyms
 in their jobs in a
week
Use synonyms
Submitted by m.defaee1 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words week, men, hours, women with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Bar chart
  • Hours worked
  • Overall trend
  • Significant differences
  • Similarities
  • Peaks
  • Full-time
  • Part-time
  • Overtime
  • Proportion
  • Represented
  • Categories
  • Variations
  • Societal roles
  • National employment policies
  • Predominantly
  • Engaging in
  • Comparison
  • Domestic duties
  • Employment trends
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