IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Write about the following topic : Some people think that it’s a good to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it’s important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#topic #people #it’s #socialise #work #colleagues #evenings #weekends #life
Some individuals believe that interacting with
co-workers
Change noun form
co-workers'
co-worker's
show examples
 exterior of
job
Correct article usage
the job
show examples
ambiance
Change the spelling
ambience
show examples
 is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
beneficial way.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 others may believe that it is better
draw
Add the particle
to draw
show examples
 a line between your profession and personal life. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 intend to analyze both
viewes
Correct your spelling
views
viewers
.
However
, I agree with the
to begin
 with, proponents of socializing argue that through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
spending time with colleagues individuals can broaden their network of
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
.
Therefore
, it is more likely to create a friendly zone in their working environment which can lead to progression or getting
promotion
Correct article usage
a promotion
show examples
 in their career
as a result
 of
tight
Change the adjective
tightly
show examples
 bound and intimacy with other employments.
For instance
, It
hs
Correct your spelling
has
show examples
 been experienced that people with super
commiunication
Correct your spelling
communication
 skills are more successful compare to others as they are more reliable and trustworthy to
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
show examples
 visions.
On the other hand
, the opponents believe that having
close
Add an article
a close
show examples
 relationship with cooperators can be
hazardousas
Correct your spelling
hazardous
hazardous as
 as it would cause abuse of personal information.
In addition
, that would affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
employees
Change noun form
employees'
employee's
show examples
 labour efficiency. once they become intimate with their boss they will
probebly
Correct your spelling
probably
 not taking
serious
Change the word
seriously
show examples
 their responsibilities and that could lead to adverse results for the outcome of
coorperation
Correct your spelling
cooperation
 and even make a company broke.
as
Capitalize word
As
show examples
 a result, conflicts may
occure
Correct your spelling
occur
occurs
 and
individual
Correct article usage
the individual
show examples
 may even
lost
Change the verb form
lose
be lost
show examples
 their job.
to sum up
, I reiterate that people should make apart their profession from their friendship for the sake of peace and preserving of
conflication
Correct your spelling
complication
confliction
 in.
Submitted by majidimehrsa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: