Some people believe that reading stories form a book is better than watching tv or playing computer games for children to what extent do you agree or disagree.
It is admittedly true that watching
movies
and virtual games
has become popular among children
while
reading books
is crucial for enhancing their knowledge
.In this
essay, I am going to examine this
question from my point of view and give relevant examples and i
agree with Change the capitalization
I
this
statement.
On the one hand, A group
of people choose books
reading because learning
new Wrong verb form
they are learn
knowledge
every day. Knowledge
is a powerful tool for every person which cannot be bought or destroyed by anyone.However
, reading books
have
lots of benefits among them brain exercise, critical Correct subject-verb agreement
has
think
or creative thinking, gaining Replace the word
thinking
knowledge
, knowing about the world so on. For example
, according to
recent data, approximately 300 Indian children
below the age of 16 had 3 groups, one group
of children
allowed for watching
Change preposition
to watch
movies
and
another Correct word choice
apply
group
of children
only playing
computer Wrong verb form
play
games
as well
as
the Correct word choice
and
last
group
only read books
every day . On
January 1(the start of the research and the end 30 days later) to February 1, 30 days later, Change preposition
From
children
(who read books
) can write a story, and also
their story quality amazed people Rephrase
apply
compare
to the other two groups.
Wrong verb form
compared
On the other hand
, playing virtual games
and watching movies
with children
is creative . For example
, puzzle games
help to develop children
's brains and also
they can make critical decisions. Rephrase
apply
For instance
, watching is good entertainment for children
but not for knowledge
because science fiction movies
can not understand children
. In my opinion, I firmly believe reading books
is better than watching movies
and computer games
.
To sum up
, book reading an ancient study system and also
people love that system compared to other systems. Computer Rephrase
apply
games
and watching movies
for entertainment ,so that's why I would prefer to children
read books
.Submitted by muhammadnaim194196 on
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task response
Inadequate use of relevant specific examples. Ensure that the examples provided directly support the arguments made.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but the logical structure of the essay could be improved. The flow of ideas is not well connected within and between paragraphs. Use transition words and phrases to improve coherence.
lexical resource
There is a need to expand the range of vocabulary and use more appropriate and varied expressions. Use synonyms, idiomatic expressions, and collocations to enhance the lexical resource.
grammatical range
The sentences exhibit a mix of simple and complex structures, but there are frequent errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Work on sentence variety and accuracy to improve grammatical range.