Some people believe that reading stories form a book is better than watching tv or playing computer games for children to what extent do you agree or disagree.

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It is admittedly true that watching
movies
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and virtual
games
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has become popular among
children
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while
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reading
books
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is crucial for enhancing their
knowledge
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.In
this
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essay, I am going to examine
this
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question from my point of view and give relevant examples and
i
Change the capitalization
I
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agree with
this
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statement. On the one hand, A
group
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of people choose
books
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reading because
learning
Wrong verb form
they are learn
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new
knowledge
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every day.
Knowledge
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is a powerful tool for every person which cannot be bought or destroyed by anyone.
However
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, reading
books
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have
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has
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lots of benefits among them brain exercise, critical
think
Replace the word
thinking
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or creative thinking, gaining
knowledge
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, knowing about the world so on.
For example
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,
according to
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recent data, approximately 300 Indian
children
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below the age of 16 had 3 groups, one
group
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of
children
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allowed
for watching
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to watch
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movies
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and
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apply
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another
group
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of
children
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only
playing
Wrong verb form
play
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computer
games
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as well
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as
Correct word choice
and
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the
last
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group
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only read
books
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every day .
On
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From
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January 1(the start of the research and the end 30 days later) to February 1, 30 days later,
children
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(who read
books
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) can write a story, and
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also
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apply
show examples
their story quality amazed people
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
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to the other two groups.
On the other hand
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, playing virtual
games
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and watching
movies
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with
children
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is creative .
For example
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, puzzle
games
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help to develop
children
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's brains and
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also
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apply
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they can make critical decisions.
For instance
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, watching is good entertainment for
children
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but not for
knowledge
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because science fiction
movies
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can not understand
children
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. In my opinion, I firmly believe reading
books
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is better than watching
movies
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and computer
games
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.
To sum up
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, book reading an ancient study system and
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also
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apply
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people love that system compared to other systems. Computer
games
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and watching
movies
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for entertainment ,so that's why I would prefer to
children
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read
books
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.
Submitted by muhammadnaim194196 on

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task response
Inadequate use of relevant specific examples. Ensure that the examples provided directly support the arguments made.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but the logical structure of the essay could be improved. The flow of ideas is not well connected within and between paragraphs. Use transition words and phrases to improve coherence.
lexical resource
There is a need to expand the range of vocabulary and use more appropriate and varied expressions. Use synonyms, idiomatic expressions, and collocations to enhance the lexical resource.
grammatical range
The sentences exhibit a mix of simple and complex structures, but there are frequent errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Work on sentence variety and accuracy to improve grammatical range.
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