Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

These days, with the advance of globalization,
education
has
been
Verb problem
become
show examples
increasingly popular among
people
.
While
some individuals assume that
education
is aimed
to aid
Change preposition
at aiding
show examples
a person in becoming a helpful member of society,
others
believe that it is a crucial part of obtaining their personal goals.
This
essay will discuss both views of the argument and I will give my own perspective. On the one hand, many
people
argue that
education
is meant to help individuals to be beneficial for society. To be specific, students will someday be part of a community,
therefore
, they need the skills to exist within that society as thoughtful citizens.
For instance
, an individual may become a politician, so he or she needs to be equipped with a variety of
knowledge
to tackle society’s problems.
Moreover
,
education
can give
people
opportunities to transfer their
knowledge
to
others
.
For example
, students who
are understanding
Wrong verb form
understand
show examples
the language can go to the orphanage house to voluntarily teach children there.
As a result
,
people
will likely become more connected with each other.
On the other hand
,
others
believe that the purpose of
education
is
for assisting
Change preposition
to assist
show examples
individuals to reach their personal dreams. It can be seen clearly that
people
who are equipped with the
knowledge
and skills they need are likely to obtain a promising job.
For instance
, if an individual wants to be a lawyer, he or she should attend a formal
education
to get
knowledge
and finny could be certified to be the profession he or she wants to be.
Moreover
, different
people
will have different objectives in their lives, and to achieve that,
education
is an indispensable element for
people
. In conclusion, though some groups of
people
have their own perspectives about the purpose of
education
, I believe it depends on one's preference. If you tend to work socially you definitely should get an
education
and work for
others
.
Besides
, if you have your own goals, you should reach them through
education
.
Submitted by tranthanhvan2409 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion lack sufficient elaboration and clear summarization of the main points. The logical structure of the essay is somewhat unclear and needs improvement in the organization of ideas.
task response
The response adequately addresses the given prompt and presents relevant ideas. However, the introduction and conclusion should be more developed, and the logical structure of the essay needs to be improved for better coherence and cohesion.
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