The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph provides information on how people bought their hot drinks in five leading States of Australia (
Brisbane
Use synonyms
, Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide and
Hobart
Use synonyms
) over the
last
Linking Words
4 weeks.
Overall
Linking Words
, it shows that all States were least likely to buy fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
during the timeframe.
Firstly
Linking Words
, looking at the chart, all cities had low numbers for buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
, with Melbourne and
Hobart
Use synonyms
having the highest value at around 63% and
Brisbane
Use synonyms
with the lowest value at around 35%. Meanwhile, the other three cities range from approximately 45% to 50%.
In addition
Linking Words
to
this
Linking Words
, all locations chose to buy hot drinks at the cafe over instant
coffee
Use synonyms
, except
Brisbane
Use synonyms
and
Hobart
Use synonyms
, at 50%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, only around 42% of Sydneysiders, which had the lowest rating, bought instant
coffee
Use synonyms
over the
last
Linking Words
four weeks.
Similarly
Linking Words
, only around 49% of Melbournian liked it.
Lastly
Linking Words
, based on the chart, buying hot drinks
such
Linking Words
as
coffee
Use synonyms
and tea, was very popular in all locations except Adelaide. At least 60% of
Hobart
Use synonyms
and Melbourne's people went and had their hot beverages outside.
This
Linking Words
number is followed by Sydney at 60% and
Brisbane
Use synonyms
at approximately 53%.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, only just below 40% of Adelaide preferred it.
Submitted by meliarizkina86 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words brisbane, hobart, coffee with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey
  • coffee
  • tea
  • buying habits
  • drinking habits
  • Australian cities
  • consumption
  • respondents
  • regular
  • participants
  • levels
  • observed
  • popular
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