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Band 3.5

Nowaday, many government budget money for the sports industry. Why do you think governments are funding sports so heavily? Do you think this an appropriate investment?

#nowaday #government #budget #money #sports #industry #governments #investment
I think it gets popular to invest in the exercise field for official departments in recent years because of many reasons
such
 as improving the surface of the government and inspiring the
citizens
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 healthy habitation. On the one hand,
people
 are more concerned about their life qualities and start to learn the knowledge of health,
for instance
, healthy diets, a good environment for living and building good habits for long-term life.
According to
 these ideas, many
governments
 combine the policies and build many sports
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 to provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
citizens
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
place to exercise. Simontanouly, arranging the membership for
citizens
 to encourage
people
 to use the facilities and providing many courses to improve the skills for members.
On the other hand
, there are
also
 some drawbacks to investing the sports
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
.
For example
, the
governments
 have to decide where to build
instead
 of building the
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 everywhere, it should be built nearby the city
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 where the
people
 will be interested in using.
In addition
,
budget
Correct article usage
the budget
show examples
 is
also
 an important point to concern which is hard for
governments
 to make decisions and give up doing those projects after all. In conclusion, I think the benefits of investing sports field are way more than the negatives.
Moreover
, considering the
citizens
Change to a genitive case
citizen's
citizens'
show examples
 life balance is one of the views that
governments
 have to think about and the policies are always managed by the needs of
people
, so it is good for
governments
 to involve the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 industry.
Submitted by zoe20130402 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote
  • physical activity
  • health
  • boost
  • tourism
  • economy
  • foster
  • national pride
  • unity
  • employment opportunities
  • reputation
  • investment
  • talent
  • infrastructure
  • facilities
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