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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.

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The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.
The presented line chart gives data on the ratio of
the absorb
Replace the word
absorption of
 different from fish ,
lamb
Use synonyms
, beef and chicken in
a European
Replace the word
Europe
 over the
period
Use synonyms
 of 25 years from 1979 to 2004
Overall
Linking Words
, over the
period
Use synonyms
 of 25 years from 1979 to 2004, the ratio of chicken was
steady
Correct article usage
a steady
show examples
 jump- it
to march
Wrong verb form
marched
show examples
 in the van of the choice about the meat and experienced a dramatic
sugre
Correct your spelling
surge
, always top priority meat selection in
European
Replace the word
Europe
, out pacing the fish
still average level
Correct word order
, with an average level still
show examples
, there is still a certain amount of
consumption
Use synonyms
 .
By contrast
Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, the
beef
Correct word order
consumption of beef
show examples
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lamb
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
consumption
Check wording
apply
show examples
has been reduced and saw a notable decline over the
period
Use synonyms
. Intern of the number of the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
lamb
Use synonyms
.
From1979
Correct your spelling
From 1979
 to 2004, the rate of
lamb
Use synonyms
 experienced a steady plunge from 150 to 52
grams
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
pet
Use the right word
per
show examples
person
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
. Regarding beef’s data, the
absorb
Replace the word
absorption
 fell sharply by 100
grams
Use synonyms
 per
person
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 from 1979 to 2004.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 during the
period
Use synonyms
 from 1984 to 1989, there was a slow growth from 151 to 153
grams
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
pet
Change preposition
per
show examples
person
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 the beef
absorb
Replace the word
absorption
 dropped quickly from
approximate
Replace the word
approximately
 153 to more than 102
grams
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
pet
Change preposition
per
show examples
person
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the fish absorb, the exchange of the
consumption
Use synonyms
 fluctuated slightly from 1979
to2004
Correct your spelling
to 2004
, from about 52 to over 49
grams
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
pet
Change preposition
per
show examples
person
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the chicken
consumption
Use synonyms
 witnessed a steady rise between 1979 and 2004 from around 147 to over 247
grams
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
pet
Correct your spelling
per
person
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
. Throughout the
period
Use synonyms
 from 1999 to 2004, there was a substantial climb from 185 to 247
grams
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
pet
Use the right word
per
show examples
person
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words lamb, period, consumption, grams, pet, person, week with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • fish
  • meat
  • poultry
  • beef
  • lamb
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • gradual
  • significant
  • fluctuate
  • peak
  • trough
  • steady
  • correlation
  • period
  • data
  • comparison
  • predominant
  • kilograms per capita
  • dietary habits
  • health consciousness
  • sustainability
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