The pie charts illustrates the number of sales in different spheres of online shopping in New Zealand during 10 years.

#sales #spheres #zealand #years

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The pie charts provide information about the amount of sales

offering

Wrong verb form

offered

show examples

by different categories of online shops in New Zealand between 2003 and 2013. Looking from the

overall

Linking Words

perspective it is readily apparent that in New Zealand travel agencies are used to

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

a lot of sales during the whole period,

while

Linking Words

books sellers are usually keeping the same price. With regards to the first chart, in 2003 the segment with the highest percentage of items which are on sale was travel (with 36%), followed by clothes, with 24%.

In addition

Linking Words

, film and music products made up 24%,

while

Linking Words

the number of books which were selling cheaper was the lowest (19%).

According to

Linking Words

the second graph, in 2013 there were more opportunities to pay less for films and music items

due to

Linking Words

the fact that their ratio increased from 21% to 33%.

However

Linking Words

, the proportion of on-sale vacations and clothes decreased by 7% and 8% respectively.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, in 2013 people had a little bit

Change the word

apply

show examples

cheaper kinds of literature

due to

Linking Words

their miserable raise from 19% to 22%.

Submitted by sofsya.fedorenko.2001 on Mon Aug 21 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to, while".

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

178 words

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The pie charts illustrates the number of sales in different spheres of online shopping in New Zealand during 10 years.

Some think that governments should support retired people financially while others believe they should take care of themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

You should spend about 40 mins. Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?

The English language is used as a global language in most countries in the world. Do you think the advantages of using English as a global language outweigh the disadvantages?