The pie charts illustrates the number of sales in different spheres of online shopping in New Zealand during 10 years.

#sales #spheres #zealand #years

The pie charts provide information about the amount of sales

offering

Wrong verb form

offered

show examples

by different categories of online shops in New Zealand between 2003 and 2013. Looking from the

overall

perspective it is readily apparent that in New Zealand travel agencies are used to

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

a lot of sales during the whole period,

while

books sellers are usually keeping the same price. With regards to the first chart, in 2003 the segment with the highest percentage of items which are on sale was travel (with 36%), followed by clothes, with 24%.

In addition

, film and music products made up 24%,

while

the number of books which were selling cheaper was the lowest (19%).

According to

the second graph, in 2013 there were more opportunities to pay less for films and music items

due to

the fact that their ratio increased from 21% to 33%.

However

, the proportion of on-sale vacations and clothes decreased by 7% and 8% respectively.

Furthermore

, in 2013 people had a little bit

Change the word

apply

show examples

cheaper kinds of literature

due to

their miserable raise from 19% to 22%.

Submitted by sofsya.fedorenko.2001 on Mon Aug 21 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to, while".

▼

Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

178 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie charts illustrates the number of sales in different spheres of online shopping in New Zealand during 10 years.

With a growing world population one of the most pressing issues is that of feeding such a large number of people. Some people think that GM foods offer a viable solution to this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in universities in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

Many parents encourage young people to leave home when they become older, while others think they should stay at home with the family. Discuss both views and opinion.

Environmental damage is the problem of most countries. What factors damage the environment and who should take responsibility?

Some people believe that in order to give opportunities to new generation companies should encourage high level employees who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree?Why?