IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think children should attend extra classes after the school, while other disagree. Discuss both opinions and give your own view.

#people #children #classes #school
There is cut-throat competition in today's world. Everyone wants his
child
 to be extraordinarily intelligent. So, they send their children to extra
classes
. But I believe if your
child
 lacks in
studies
then
 only you send your
child
 for
tutions
Correct your spelling
tuition
.
Otherwise
, let him spend his time in some other activities. In
this
 ,essay we will discuss both the pros and cons of extra
classes
.
Firstly
, a few people think children should attend extra
classes
 after school because in
tutions
Correct your spelling
tuitions
 the tutor explains the topics briefly and eradicates the problems of a
child
 that he did not understand in the class.
Secondly
, by attending extra
classes
 a
child
 can utilize his time to study
instead
 of watching TV etc. Some students are not good at
studies
 so they need extra
classes
 to mitigate their problems.
On the other hand
, some people believe that extra class is a burden on a
child
 because extra homework is
also
 given in
tutions
Correct your spelling
tuitions
. So he has to do extra work as compared to other students. And if a
child
 is good at
studies
,
then
 he can utilize his time in some other extra indoor and outdoor curriculum activities.
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 if the financial condition of parents is not good
then
 it is not possible to spend extra money on
tutions
Correct your spelling
tuition
. In my opinion, I assert that if a
child
 is poor at
studies
 and requires extra help
then
 only he should join extra
classes
otherwise
 there is no need for
tutions
Correct your spelling
tuitions
 for brilliant students.
To sum up
, children should attend the extra
classes
 only if they are unable to understand the topic in school and are financially strong.
Otherwise
Add a comma
,Otherwise
show examples
 extra
classes
 are not as important to attend.
Submitted by hiteshpaul on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: