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Band 5.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions
The line graph depicts the percentage of
population
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the population
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 of residents living in urban areas from four different Asian countries between the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 1970 to 2020 with the future assumption of the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 2030 and 2040.
Overall
, Malaysia is having
highest
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the highest
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 percentage of population
till
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by
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 the
year
 2020 and it is
also
 forecasted to be maximum in future.
To begin
with
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,with
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 Philippines gradually increased
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
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 of citizens in the
year
 1990 at 50%,
while
, it dramatically sunk in the
year
 2020 at 40%,
whereas
 in the years 2030 and
2040
Add a comma
,2040
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 it was predicted to reach
at
Change preposition
apply
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55% respectively.
In addition
, Thailand’s occupants were not consistent and in the
year
2020
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,2020
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 it was only at 25%, even though after two decades it
forecasted
Add a missing verb
was forecasted
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 to be doubled.
On the other hand
, Malaysia
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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overtook
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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 and reach
at
Correct your spelling
a
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 peak in the
year
 2020 at 75% of people living in
this
 city,
however
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,however
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 it was projected to surge more
at
Change preposition
to
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 85% in the years 2030 and 2040 respectively.
Furthermore
, Indonesia
also
 overtook
it’s
Replace the word
its
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 population growth of
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 two cities which are
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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 and Thailand in the
year
 2020 at 50% and assumed to reach
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
60% in the years 2030 and 2040 respectively.
Submitted by pooja22nov on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
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