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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart illustrates the number of people from history museums, British museums, national museums and science museums who visited different museums in London.

The chart illustrates the number of people from history museums, British museums, national museums and science museums who visited different museums in London.
The bar graph depicts the citizens who visited four kinds of museums in London; the
British
Use synonyms
Museum
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, the National
Museum
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, and the Science
Museum
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. It is clear from the graph that all of them have above a quarter of a million visiter in all periods except the National
Museum
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 has less than.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, August has the greatest sum of tourists of all museums, it started with a tiny one which was from 250 thousand folks for the National
Museum
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, the maximum was the massive total of around 655 thousand citizens in a
British
Use synonyms
 building.
While
Linking Words
 the second greatest was for the same building at roughly 490,000.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the National
Museum
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 has three times less than its previous period. There's a slight resemblance in the first two periods ranging from 400 thousand and more for History and Science and
British
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Museum
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, but the National building has 199,000 and 200,000 in July and June respectively.
To sum up
Linking Words
 we could say that, the massive figure was for August
while
Linking Words
 the tiniest sum for October except the
British
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 gallery keeps the great statistic.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words british, museum with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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