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Band 4.5

Some people think citites are the best place to live. Others prefer to live in the countryside. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

#people #citites #place #countryside
It is thought that
cities
 are the best place to live. Meanwhile, there is
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
opposition that living in the
countryside
 is better. In my point of view, living in the
cities
 has more opportunities to get
a quality jobs
Correct the article-noun agreement
a quality job
quality jobs
show examples
 and there are
also
 a lot of
services
 that are convenient for
people
 to live.
Besides
,
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 is an ideal environment to live comfortably without pressure, it has less modern facilities and
services
 as well. Living in the
cities
 has more opportunities to get a quality job or a job with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 salary,
people
 can easily become successful and get have a wealthy
life
 in the future. Not only that,
citites
Correct your spelling
cities
 provide
people
 with many
services
 which are food delivery and technology taxi which helps
people
 to be more convenient in travelling.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand,
cities
 are surfing from a lot of
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
such
 as air pollution, noise pollution caused by car emissions and traffic
congestions
Fix the agreement mistake
congestion
show examples
,
water
Correct word choice
and water
show examples
 pollution from emissions from factories and accommodations.
People
live
Correct pronoun usage
who live
show examples
 in the
cities
 have to manage to pay the high cost of living either.
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
,
life
 in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 not only has peaceful places at night
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
people
 are easy to relax after school and work all day but
also
 fresh air and
reasonable
Correct article usage
a reasonable
show examples
 cost of living
that
Correct word choice
so that
show examples
people
 will not get pressure in
life
. Meanwhile,
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 has
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 modern facilities for
people
 to live
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
 In conclusion, living in the
cities
 has more opportunities to get
a quality jobs
Correct the article-noun agreement
a quality job
quality jobs
show examples
 and there are
also
 a lot of
services
 that are convenient for
people
 to live.
Besides
,
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 is an ideal environment to live comfortably without pressure, it has less modern facilities and
services
 as well. In my opinion, I would rather
to
Remove the marker
apply
show examples
live in the
cities
due to
 its advantages and I could easily have a wonderful
life
 in the future.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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