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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below gives some of the most reported issues among people leaving in UK cities in 2008 (%)

The chart below gives some of the most reported issues among people leaving in UK cities in 2008 (%)
Some of the most reported living issues among city residents living in major UK
cities
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 in 2008 are Health Services, Education and training and
Air
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Pollution
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. From the list of
cities
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, Newcastle, Belfast, Birmingham and
Glasgow
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 have the lowest
percentage
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 of
air
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pollution
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 than the other
cities
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, it ranging from 0% to 10%, meanwhile Manchester and London
having
Wrong verb form
have
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 the highest
air
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pollution
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percentage
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 reaching almost 20%.
In addition
Linking Words
, Belfast and Cardiff are the only
cities
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 closest to the 60% mark
Health
Change preposition
for Health
show examples
 Services, making them the highest in
this
Linking Words
 section and
Glasgow
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having
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 the least amount of
percentage
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, approximately 50%. The
last
Linking Words
 sector is
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Education and Training
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. Almost every city in
this
Linking Words
 list like Belfast, London, Cardiff, Birmingham and
Glasgow
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, passes the 50% mark, except for two
cities
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, Manchester and Newcastle.
However
Linking Words
, there are some similarities in
this
Linking Words
 chart like
Glasgow
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 and Birmingham having the same
percentage
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 in the
Air
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Pollution
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 section.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cities, air, pollution, glasgow, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • affordable housing
  • urban areas
  • overcrowding
  • homelessness
  • traffic congestion
  • car ownership
  • public transportation systems
  • commuting times
  • air pollution
  • industrial activities
  • air quality
  • green spaces
  • urbanization
  • mental health
  • crime rates
  • socio-economic factors
  • sense of security
  • waste management
  • waste disposal
  • recycling
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