The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zeeland in 2003 and 2013.

#show #sales #sectors #zeeland

The given pie charts present the types of services in

online

Add an article

the online

an online

show examples

shopping

center

Fix the agreement mistake

centers

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and

percentage

Correct article usage

the percentage

show examples

of customers in each section in New Zeeland in 2003 and 2013.

Overall

, travel and

clothe

Change the form of the verb

clothing

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sections have dropped,

while

mass media,

such

as films, music and book

sales

showed

rise

Add an article

a rise

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. In 2003, travel occupied the biggest portion of

sales

, just over

than

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

third of total

sales

. Clothe and films/music section has approximately the same draws, 24 and 21

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

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respectively. The less popular sort of product

was books

Change the verb form

was booked

show examples

with 19%. In 2013, there was

not

Correct your spelling

show examples

big change in proportions. Film and music become domain

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

sales

(33$).

Journey

Correct article usage

The journey

show examples

section occupied 29% of all

sales

. Books and clothes changed only marginally.

Submitted by sagynysh.mutigulliyeva.01 on Tue Aug 22 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

118 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zeeland in 2003 and 2013.

Educating young people is naturally important. However, some think governments ought to invest more in education for adults in need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

everyone should be encouraged to use fewer resources rather than recycle more. To what extent do you agree?

Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Do you think that this is a positive or negative development?

Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. Do you agree or disagree?

IN SOME COUNTRIES MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARE BECOMING INTERESTED IN FINDING OUT ABOUT THE HISTORY OF THE HOUSE OR BUILDING THEY LIVE IN. WHAT ARE THE REASONS FOR THIS? HOW CAN PEOPLE RESEARCH THIS?