IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many young people leave school with a negative attitude towards education. What are the reasons for this? How can we encourage young people to study harder?

Education can be defined as giving knowledge and nurturing good behaviours towards
youngsters
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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countries set the regulation that
people
Use synonyms
 who are under 19 years old must
adapt
Correct your spelling
adopt
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 education or else their parents will suffer imprisonment.
Due to
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this
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 rule, many young
people
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 have
negative
Add an article
a negative
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 attitude when they leave
the
Correct article usage
apply
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school.
Hence
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, it is time we delved into the reason
of
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for
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this
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 problem and ways that can encourage
youngsters
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 to study. First of all, the exam that
have
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has
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 a mean of assessment is the crucial point of the causes. Some young
people
Use synonyms
 suffer from nerves when they are under pressure, causing
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
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perform
Fix the infinitive
to perform
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 worse than usual, but it is
rarely
Change the word
rare
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 to claim that it is wrong to assess
people
Use synonyms
 when they are not performing the best.
Students
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 who
unable
Add a missing verb
are unable
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 to accept
this
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 result will think that study to pass the tests rather than to learn
,
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apply
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 so
that
Correct word choice
apply
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they cannot get feedback from their mistakes on the exams. Some
youngsters
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 deem that their potential abilities are overlooked,
due to
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 no
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
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 to express their good aspects.
Besides
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, I believe that
students
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choose
Wrong verb form
choosing
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 the subjects they like is the best way to study. It is because
students
Use synonyms
 who have
the
Correct article usage
a
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 passion
on
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for
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 their favourite subjects will strive hard to learn more about knowledge. There is some relation between the subjects,
for example
Linking Words
, when
students
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 are interested in science, they must improve their English level as most
of
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apply
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the scientific books are using English as the medium
,
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apply
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 so that
students
Use synonyms
 can know more knowledge from different perspectives. In conclusion, learning should be enjoyable and not stressful for the young generation.
Hence
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, parents play an important role to encourage their children to learn with gentle and not forceful attitudes. Good education towards
youngsters
Use synonyms
 is involved actively by parents and support them even if children will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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regret
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
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 the future, but it is time for them to grow up.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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