The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Is relying

from

Change the preposition

upon

show examples

the

government

Use synonyms

far better than saving? Some

people

Use synonyms

argued that the

government

Use synonyms

should provide financial

support

Use synonyms

and care to the

people

Use synonyms

who reached their golden age.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both views in detail and provide evidence as to why providing financial

support

Use synonyms

is not that beneficial in the long run. On the one hand,

money

Use synonyms

equates

financial

Change preposition

to financial

show examples

security. It is critical that every individual must save their own

money

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, you must save whilst still young. As the saying goes, "If you tucked something away, you'll have something to retrieve later."

Additionally

Linking Words

, when you have the means, it boosts your confidence and other

people

Use synonyms

will

look-up

Correct your spelling

look up

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

you. By saving

money

Use synonyms

, you have peace of mind, knowing that you have the means to buy your basic needs and wants.

Moreover

Linking Words

, in case of unexpected circumstances and

emergencies

Add a comma

,emergencies

show examples

you have something to use and not worry

Change preposition

about

show examples

how to survive

Linking Words

this unfortunate events

Change the determiner

this unfortunate event

these unfortunate events

show examples

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the

government

Use synonyms

might have the responsibility to provide financial

support

Use synonyms

but bear in mind that

this

Linking Words

support

Use synonyms

will not get us too far. It will make the

people

Use synonyms

lazy and just rely on the

government

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, just waiting and depending on what the

government

Use synonyms

will give is not beneficial in the long run. Especially, when said emergencies happen.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the opposite will happen,

people

Use synonyms

tend to look down on someone who is financially unstable.

To conclude

Linking Words

, saving and having your own

money

Use synonyms

is crucial and will give us the security that we need in our old age

while

Linking Words

only depending on the

government

Use synonyms

support

Use synonyms

is impractical and will lead us

Change preposition

apply

show examples

nowhere in the long run.

Anneya Tue Aug 22 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

government responsibility
financial support
care
retirees
personal responsibility
retirement planning
social security
pension
benefits
concerns
dependency
adequate savings
elderly citizens
burden
welfare system
poverty
social safety net
financial stability
public funds
sustainable
reliable
case study
Japan
Sweden
United States

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Scientific development is one of the most indispensable subjects in modern society. Even though some argue the mission of science should be focused on divergent aspects of society, and not only based on human life, I think by putting the focus on improving the quality of individuals’ lives and betterment of humanity, science also would cover other aspects, like a lot of worldwide challenges, such as climate change.
7.5
band
Some companies have uniforms for their staff which must be worn at all time. What are the advantages for a company of having a uniform? Are there any benefit of having uniform for a staff?
It is undeniable that uniform acts as a way by which we become able to know what type of work another person is doing. So, many companies have their mandatory dresses which must be worn by staff all the time. This essay will analyse the merits of having uniforms for the company as well as for a staff member in the following paragraphs.
4
band
Subjects like art, music, and drama are more important than other subjects and therefore should be given more time in the calendar. Do you agree or disagree?
For children's proper brain development drawing classes has to carry unique importance.To some extent,it should be mandatory in primary level education ,which can help kids open up their fine and arts thinking .On the other hand ,people might think if it not come to mind it will be just a waste of time,it may be in elementary-level education as an optional subject .
5.5
band
It is commonly said that today’s children are facing huge challenges. This essay indent to discuss the causes of these pressures and give some suggestions to solve them.
It is true that children are facing different challenges in their lives due tothe increasing competition level, having a peer pressure, and being less active in doing physical activities. All these can be sorted
8
band
Your friend asked you to find a par-time job for him/her to earn some money while studying. You found a job that might be suitable. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, • Give him/her the job description • Explain why he/she should take the job • Say what he/she should do to get the job
Finally! I have found a very good job for you. After several attempts and research, I was able to find an opening for a position in customer care role on Amazon, so, I am really happy to share this with you.

The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Your opinion

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some companies have uniforms for their staff which must be worn at all time. What are the advantages for a company of having a uniform? Are there any benefit of having uniform for a staff?

Subjects like art, music, and drama are more important than other subjects and therefore should be given more time in the calendar. Do you agree or disagree?

It is commonly said that today’s children are facing huge challenges. This essay indent to discuss the causes of these pressures and give some suggestions to solve them.