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Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below illustrates the number of books that were rented from four village libraries in 2014 during four different months, and the diagram depicts the books that were rented over four months.

The chart below illustrates the number of books that were rented from four village libraries in 2014 during four different months, and the diagram depicts the books that were rented over four months.
The chart below illustrates the
number
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 of
books
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 that were rented from four village libraries in 2014 during four different months, and the diagram depicts the
books
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 that were rented over four months.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the libraries of Sutton Wood and Ryeslip had the highest acquire during
the
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apply
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all
period
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. Sutton Wood
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library
Capitalize word
Library
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 lent 250
books
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 in
the
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apply
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June followed by Ryeslip lent the highest
number
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 of
books
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 in the same month. In the next months, there was
a
Correct article usage
apply
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dramatic
changes
Change the noun form
change
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 in the
number
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 of
books
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 that were rented from Ryeslip
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library
Capitalize word
Library
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 dropping to 175
books
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 in
Septemer
Correct your spelling
September
.
Also
Linking Words
 Sutton Wood had
the
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apply
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noticeable changes over the
period
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, increasing to 270
books
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 in July, but it sharply
felt
Correct your spelling
fell
show examples
 in
the
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apply
show examples
August. Despite
this
Linking Words
, in the next
month
Add a comma
,month
show examples
 the
library
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 had rocketed to 300
books
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, taking the highest indicator over the whole time. Over the given
period
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, there was a consistent increase
of
Change preposition
in
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libraries
Correct article usage
the libraries
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 of West Eaton and Church Mount.
Result
Correct article usage
The result
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 of both
library
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 in June takes about 50
books
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,
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apply
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 after it in the next two month the
number
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 of borrowed
books
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of
Change preposition
from
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 West Eaton were higher than
Church
Change preposition
from Church
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 Mount.
However
Linking Words
,
at the end
Linking Words
 of the given
period
Use synonyms
 they had the same score of about 150. As for the type of
books
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, 43% of rented belonged to the category of fiction and biographies were the second most popular and accounted for 19% of the total borrowings. Together history (14%), science(14%) and
self help
Add a hyphen
self-help
show examples
 (10%) accounted for 38% of the borrowings.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, books, period, library with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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