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Band 5.5

Sample 3.Animal species are becoming extinct due to human activities on land and in the sea. What are the reasons and solutions.

#sample #species #activities #land #sea
The various activities by
people
 both on land and
ocean
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to
Correct article usage
the disappearing
show examples
disappearing
Replace the word
disappearance
show examples
 of many types of
animals
. In the present year , many individuals prefer materials and supplies like different kinds of
woods
Fix the agreement mistake
wood
show examples
 for various
puroposes
Correct your spelling
purposes
 directly from
th
Correct your spelling
the
 wildlife.
This
 has
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to
degradation
Correct article usage
the degradation
show examples
 of
forest
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 where individuals tend to manufacture wood from trees . The continuous cutting of trees
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
 in the number of trees which made
Correct pronoun usage
it widlife
show examples
widlife
Correct your spelling
wildlife
 difficult to survive
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 its own habitat.
Construction
Correct article usage
The construction
show examples
 of roads for easy transport through the
forest
 area has decreased the land area for
animals
 to move and live their
life
 . For
exmple
Correct your spelling
example
, roads built
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
forest
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 made it difficult for various land
animals
 to travel from one point to another.
This
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 reason why,
people
 see different types of
animals
 during their travel through
forest
Add an article
the forest
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
ocean
Add an article
the ocean
show examples
 is
also
 degraded equally as forests.
People
temd
Correct your spelling
tend
 to dump all their
waste
 products and materials into the
ocean
 which has made
animals
 living in
water
 hard to survive. Individuals who visit beaches have the habit of not
disposing
Add the preposition
ofdisposing
show examples
 their
waste
 products in appropriate bins , rather, they leave
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 on the beach ,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will be gradually moved into the
water
 by various environmental factors.
For example
, the
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 number of plastics and other non-biodegradable wastes dumped into the
water
 plays
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 important role in the extinction of blue whales. The
waste
 products
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 made the survival of blue whales difficult,
therby
Correct your spelling
thereby
, making it a
water
 species that can be seen only
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 books by the upcoming generations. In conclusion, humans and their habit of
waste
 management
places
Change the verb form
place
show examples
 a crucial role in the
maintanence
Correct your spelling
maintenance
 and management of wild and
ocean
life
. It has become formidable for different species to live a comfortable
life
 in their own surrounding.
People
 must abate the disposal of wastes into nature
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 it may
also
 create problems for the survival of human
life
 in the near future. Government can implement various policies and rules that must be followed to prevent
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
further
 degradation of
widlife
Correct your spelling
wildlife
 and other species . As
people
Add a comma
,people
show examples
 it is all our
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 to look after nature and
amed
Correct your spelling
amend
 their way of living.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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