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Band 5.5

Some people believe that the best way of learning about life is by listening to advice of family and friends. Others believe that the best way learning way of learning is through personal experience. What is the best way in you opinion?

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Introduction
Learning is a thing which creates and smooths your
way
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 to your dream. There should not be any closed doors raised in its
way
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. So, It can be gained through our own experiences or from the guidance of friends or family members.
Body paragraph 1
In the start, I
am
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was
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 very much convinced on the fact that my parents, brothers, sisters and friends
are
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were
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 the most honest and loyal to me.
Similarly
Linking Words
, They will show me the right direction whatever the situation comes.
Moreover
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, They have lifetime gains in their understanding and practical point of view in looking at the
things
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 which could be beneficial for me.
For instance
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, If I am stuck in a situation to decide on something, they might help me out
according to
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 their wisdom and vision. In the same
way
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, They may reveal some hidden angles of the
things
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 which I might be ignoring.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, I am the one who knows my situation better than anyone else. I have better knowledge of what is important and substantial for me to take on.
Furthermore
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, I made a lot of mistakes and gained significant knowledge from them which
help
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helped
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 me to go
further
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.
For example
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, If I chose the wrong
way
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 of doing something and afterwards you realised that I did it inversely. It taught me several lessons.
Likewise
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, I am the one who ultimately knows the compatibility of
things
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 and issues related to me. So, Even if someone gives me advice, I will match it with my dream and passion and
could
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apply
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decide that it is beneficial for me.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I would strongly recommend focusing on both sources to comprehend
things
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 in a better
way
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. It will increase my exposure, vibrance and understanding of the matters in life.

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Coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position on the topic and outlines the main points that will be discussed in the essay. Also, provide a more conclusive ending to your essay that summarizes the main points and reinforces your position.
Task Achievement
While your essay covers both perspectives and provides examples, make sure to clearly address the prompt by expressing a clear opinion on which learning method you believe is best. Ensure that your examples are relevant and directly support your argument.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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