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Band 4

Some people think cities are the best place to live. Other prefer to live in the countryside. Discuss both view and give your opinion

#people #cities #place #countryside
Many
people
 think
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in the
city
 is better than in the
countryside
.
On the other hand
, someone hold
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 in the
countryside
 is better than
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in the
city
. In my book, I both view
this
 statement. In my
opnion
Correct your spelling
opinion
, when we live in the
city
, we will see many cars,
motorbikes
Correct word choice
and motorbikes
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the road, many buildings, lively bars and
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
.
In the
Change preposition
The
show examples
city
, have well- developed facilities about shopping
mall
Fix the agreement mistake
malls
show examples
, cinema, and
fantastic
Correct article usage
a fantastic
show examples
 public transport system,….
Everyday
Replace the word
Every day
show examples
 everyone always
live
Change the verb form
lives
show examples
 in the hustle and bustle of
city
life
.
Life
 in the
city
 make
people
 often suffer from stress and anxiety
due to
 their busy work schedules and the pace of
life
 is faster, but we have more opportunities and attract a large number of young adults from rural area.
Live
Wrong verb form
Living
show examples
 in the
city
, we must
live
Verb problem
have
show examples
 much higher living cost than
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 is better than in the
city
, so
life
 in the
countryside
 is
suitable
Add an article
a suitable
the suitable
show examples
 place for old
people
 to live
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it’s quiet and peaceful.
Everyday
Replace the word
Every day
show examples
 we can communicate
everyone
Change preposition
with everyone
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
who live
show examples
live
Correct subject-verb agreement
lives
show examples
 near our house.
Live
Wrong verb form
Living
show examples
 in the
countryside
 is the pace of
life
is shower
Verb problem
that
show examples
,
foster
Correct subject-verb agreement
fosters
show examples
 a sense of community.
People
 in the
countryside
 are more laid back and friendly.
In here
Change preposition
Here
show examples
, there are fewer job opportunities ,hardly find a well-paid job and young
people
 tend to move to major cities in search ò
a
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 better
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
Thus
, it can be seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 You can live in the
city
 or in the
countryside
,
although
 you can adapt to the environment. In my opinion, every environment has its good and bad, so live in an environment that you love.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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