many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. do you agree or disagree?
The amount of
sugar
in the Use synonyms
ingridients
of the snacks and drinks is very high which is one of the Correct your spelling
ingredients
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
of
the thousand health issues that can Change preposition
for
Use synonyms
cause
by Wrong verb form
be caused
this
.
So, to
tackle the problem Linking Words
manufactures
should, not only put a higher price on the productsCorrect your spelling
manufacturers
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
tell Linking Words
people
about the detrimental effects that it Use synonyms
cause
, to avoid using them that much. I Use synonyms
am absolutely agree
with that opinion and I think it can work in Change the verb form
absolutely agree
the
developed society.
Correct article usage
a
Firstly
, Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
sugar
can Use synonyms
cause
many illnesses during the lifespan.
Use synonyms
Furthermore
, as a person Linking Words
drink
a Correct subject-verb agreement
drinks
sugar
fall calorific approximately Use synonyms
about
one and a half of the cup of Rephrase
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
sugar
Use synonyms
flow
to his body. BecauseCorrect subject-verb agreement
flows
,
the body Remove the comma
apply
is not necessarily want
that much amount of Change the verb form
does not necessarily want
the
Correct article usage
apply
sugar
it turns Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
into
the
fat. Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, it Linking Words
Use synonyms
cause
blood pressure and without any benefits. Change the verb form
causes
Although
, there is a Linking Words
nutritions
box on each product Change the noun form
nutrition
but
they hardly ever tell the truth and because of their profits they tricked Correct word choice
apply
people
who are not Use synonyms
knowledgable
. Correct your spelling
knowledgeable
Besides
, most Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
do not take a glance Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
at
this
when they want to buy goods in Linking Words
the
supermarkets. But, in the UK there are Correct article usage
apply
a
several Correct article usage
apply
advertisement
to encourage Change to a plural noun
advertisements
people
not to eat unhealthy foods. Use synonyms
In addition
, they have made Linking Words
the
healthy products prices Correct article usage
apply
such
as milk much cheaper than chips, Linking Words
for example
.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, because of the industrial benefits which Linking Words
is
based on Change the verb form
are
the
consumerism. It was a crazy idea when the government Correct article usage
apply
attempt
to solve Replace the word
attempted
this
problem by using that risky method. Most of the researchers said that Linking Words
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
people
than before are struggling with these health problems which is a big triumph in Use synonyms
this
new decade. Linking Words
Additionally
, we have more professional athletes who Linking Words
is
a huge inspiration source for Correct subject-verb agreement
are
people
to have a healthy lifestyle and use Use synonyms
sugar
-free snacks during the day to Use synonyms
fulfill
their nutritional gaps.
In conclusion, the overuse of Change the spelling
fulfil
the
Correct article usage
apply
sugar
in Use synonyms
this
century is a big deal for both governments and Linking Words
people
. So, that would be great to see the cooperation between both Use synonyms
residence
and governments to use Replace the word
residents
this
method in order to motivate Linking Words
people
to be healthier and make their Use synonyms
life
more qualified.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Submitted by javadsaady1992 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.