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The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum
It is an increasing problem in
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
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 that many parents take their overweight
children
 to see doctors. To solve
such
problem
Correct article usage
a problem
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, I completely agree with the opinion that some
people
 reckon that the best way is to set up more
lessons
 about physical education at schools.
However
, introducing more PE classes in the school curriculum usually takes a long time to solve the overweight problem. It may need several months or more because
learning
Correct article usage
the learning
show examples
 abilities of different overweight
children
 are various.
Also
,
due to
 a long teaching process, the teaching effect might be minimal on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
overweight
people
 and may not reduce the stress in the health care system. In spite of
this
, I still believe that overweight
children
 could gain a profit through their teacher’s teaching. PE
lessons
 can be beneficial to overweight pupils as long as they keep on training. I think that setting up more
lessons
 about physical education in the school curriculum is the best way to decrease the number of overweight
people
 at the source. Students can learn a lot of overweight knowledge to exercise correctly,
for example
, do not eat too much before exercise, take a break after some minutes of exercise, and so on, which can make them
to
Change the verb form
apply
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keep fit. An experiment
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
children
 in the West illustrates that the more time of studying gym classes, the less possibility of becoming overweight
people
 in the future, which
also
 shows the importance of introducing more gym classes for
children
. In conclusion, I completely
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
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 the opinion that setting up more
lessons
 at schools
because
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is the best way to decrease the number of overweight
people
 at the source.
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity rates
  • health care system
  • physical education
  • instill
  • long term
  • raise awareness
  • healthier lifestyle choices
  • nutritional education
  • active transport
  • quality of instruction
  • facilities and equipment
  • diet control initiatives
  • community sports programs
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