Some people believe that governments should have access to people’s mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons. Others believe that this information is private and should not be available without permission. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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It is indisputable that
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
have a great impact on our daily life since
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can be used for various tasks, including making calls and sending messages. Some people believe that governments should have
a
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apply
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full access to our data for safety purposes,
while
Linking Words
others
argued
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argue
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that it is
a personal
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personal information
a piece of personal information
show examples
information
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and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
cannot be deployed for any strangers.
Thus
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, in
this
Linking Words
essay, I will analyse both
point
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points
show examples
of
views
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view
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and draw my personal opinion. Countries nowadays are attacked by different electronic fraud
who
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that
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may invade
on
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apply
show examples
individuals
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individuals'
individual's
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personal
information
Use synonyms
and exploit it for illegal reasons.
In other words
Linking Words
, it can be used to attack countries or identify
a
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apply
show examples
plenty of data to harm
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
national security,
for
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example
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,example
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information
Use synonyms
related to the military or the local economy.
In addition
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, terrorism is one of the prominent issues that appear in the current political status.
Thus
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, national security organizations should monitor all phone users in the country to prevent any risk
may
Correct pronoun usage
that may
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endanger their land. On the other end of the scale, as a part of human rights, any individual has the freedom to perform any activity as long as it doesn't affect
on
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apply
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other humans'
life
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lives
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.
In other words
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, nations
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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can make conversations and send
masseges
Correct your spelling
messages
in a confidential way.
In addition
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, accessing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal data may lead to feeling
insecured
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insecure
or
endanger
Wrong verb form
endangered
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, merely if you give an opinion or a criticism
aganist
Correct your spelling
against
the current situation in your community. In
conculsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, after analyzing both
persepectives
Correct your spelling
perspectives
, I strongly advocate that the freedom of opinion and performing personal activities are essential elements for any resident to feel
secured
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secure
show examples
in his country.
Thus
Linking Words
, governments should take
permissions
Fix the agreement mistake
permission
show examples
from residents to access their
information
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by aya88.issa on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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