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Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#places #people #canada #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates where people who were new migrants born in other countries, new migrants born in English-speaking nations, or born in
Canada
Use synonyms
 travelled to cinemas,
theatres
Use synonyms
, libraries, and zoos in
Canada
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, most residents in
Canada
Use synonyms
 preferred to watch movies at cinemas, but few Canadians wanted to spend money to watch shows at
theatres
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the chart, the immigrants born in other states were more likely to visit libraries,
in contrast
Linking Words
, only 10% of these residents visited
theatres
Use synonyms
 in the past. It is noticeable that cinemas were the most popular leisure places for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different groups of citizens, especially for customers who were born in
Canada
Use synonyms
 where 70% of them went there. Based on the data provided,
immigrants
Correct article usage
the immigrants
show examples
 who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 in English-speaking countries
travelled
Correct pronoun usage
who travelled
show examples
 to zoos were higher than the other two groups of dwellers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, less than 25% of each group of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 were interested in
theatres
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by annie5342586 on

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words canada, theatres with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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