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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the percentage the rtirement age for men and women in various countries .The table shows the life expectancy in each of this countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.Make comparisons where relevent.write at least 150 words.

The chart below shows the percentage the rtirement age for men and women in various countries .The table shows the life expectancy in each of this countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.Make comparisons where relevent.write at least 150 words.
#percentage #rtirement #age #men #women #countries #life #expectancy #summarise #information #features #comparisons #relevent
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The provided bar chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the numbers of resigning
age
Use synonyms
 of both
gender
Change to a plural noun
genders
show examples
 in Brazil , Russia , India and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 .
In addition
Linking Words
, the t
able
Add a missing verb
is able
show examples
present
Fix the infinitive
to present
show examples
 the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
years
Use synonyms
 for
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that women and men
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
an equal numbers
Correct the article-noun agreement
an equal number
equal numbers
show examples
 of retirement
age
Use synonyms
 in most countries .
While
Linking Words
 in table japan has the highest number of year for
life
Use synonyms
expatancy
Correct your spelling
expectancy
. Looking in more detail , in
bar
Correct article usage
the bar
show examples
 chart the retirement
age
Use synonyms
 has an equal number in India,
japan
Capitalize word
Japan
show examples
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 .
Whereas
Linking Words
 in Russia there is a numerous
diffrence
Correct your spelling
difference
 as men
deomonstrated
Correct your spelling
demonstrated
 by 62
age
Use synonyms
 and women 56 .
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , Brazil has
Correct article usage
a flactuated
show examples
flactuated
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
 number of
years
Use synonyms
among
Change preposition
between
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
.
According to
Linking Words
 the table chart , the
years
Use synonyms
 of
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
similar
years
Use synonyms
 in all countries.
However
Linking Words
 ,
japan
Capitalize word
Japan
show examples
 has the
most
Change the adjective
apply
show examples
highest year of
life
Use synonyms
expetancy
Correct your spelling
expectancy
 which illustrates the class lifestyle of
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 lives . One notable point is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
there is a similar lifestyle in all countries even in retirement
age
Use synonyms
 or
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy.
Submitted by Ssaraan2017 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, years, life with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrate" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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