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Writing Samples
Band 6

The line charts gives information about business and engineered students after six months of their graduation within two years.

The line charts gives information about business and engineered students after six months of their graduation within two years.
The line charts give information about business and engineering students
after
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apply
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six months of their
graduation
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 within two
years
Use synonyms
.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 after
one
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year
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 of
graduation
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, about 62% of business department graduates
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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found jobs.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, after a couple of
years
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
rate
Use synonyms
 increased approximately by 3%.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 about 27% studied
one
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 later and
this
Linking Words
rate
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was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decreased by 2%
for
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apply
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the
year
Use synonyms
 later.
Additionally
Linking Words
, small numbers of them were seeking jobs. Regarding the engineered
graduation
Use synonyms
, the
rate
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 of employment increased by 10% compared to business
graduation
Use synonyms
 after
one
Use synonyms
 and two
years
Use synonyms
 of
graduation
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the lowest number of them were time out and the
rate
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 of seeking for job went up to 10% after
one
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year
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 and nearly 11% after two
years
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, most of the graduations were employed in both graduations and least
amonut
Correct your spelling
amount
 seeking for job and
tim
Correct your spelling
time
 out.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graduation, years, one, year, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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