Some people believe that government should financially support retired people others feel that those who have retired pay to support themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #support

Certain individuals claim that the

government

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

to assist retired

people

while

other part of

people

assume that they should be economically

independend

Correct your spelling

independent

. I tend to think that retired

people

should be assisted by the

government

because there more reasonable and correct to do that. There might be

saveral

Correct your spelling

several

reasons why individuals hold the view that the

government

has to protect

Correct article usage

the finoncial

show examples

finoncial ratirement

Correct your spelling

financial retirement

generation.

Firstly

, the old population can not care about themselves and afford to be

finoncially

Correct your spelling

financially

independent

such

as they

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

then

Correct your spelling

when

show examples

they

have

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

a job and got a salary. It is because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they do

nat

Correct your spelling

not

show examples

have any job,

therefore

they do not have

salary

Add an article

a salary

show examples

. In Norway,

for instance

people

have

own

Correct pronoun usage

their own

show examples

fond for

hold

Wrong verb form

holding

show examples

and

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

profit

Add an article

a profit

show examples

for future

pasion

Correct your spelling

purposes

Secondly

, old

nation

Fix the agreement mistake

nations

show examples

pay all

there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

life taxes for their passion, and it

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

be incorrect to not give them money which they make by hard work.

Apart from

this

nawadays

Correct your spelling

nowadays

retired year become more older and older.

On the other hand

andoubtedly

Correct your spelling

undoubtedly

, if

old

Add an article

the old

show examples

population becomes financially

andependent

Correct your spelling

independent

, it will be

aasier

Correct your spelling

easier

for

government

to carry about other issues

such

palluted

Correct your spelling

polluted

air

condition

Wrong verb form

conditioning

show examples

build

Wrong verb form

building

show examples

new

raads

Correct your spelling

roads

reads

For example

, to

sapport

Correct your spelling

support

retired

people

can

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

family

Change the noun form

families

show examples

such

son

Correct article usage

a son

show examples

or daughter,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can save some money from salaries and give

Correct pronoun usage

it for

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

them. In conclusion,

Change the capitalization

show examples

would argue that helping

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the old nation in the financial case will be polite and sensible.

Although

it will

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

cause more motivated

nation

Fix the agreement mistake

nations

show examples

to make more money.

Submitted by pasha2400 on Thu Aug 24 2023

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that government should financially support retired people others feel that those who have retired pay to support themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In many countries, today there is insufficient respect to old people. What are the reasons? What problem it brings to the society?

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many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

More houses are needed in many countries to cope with increasing populations. Would it be better to build houses in existing towns and cities, or to develop new towns in rural areas?