IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world
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The pie charts given illustrate the percentage of
water
Use synonyms
usage
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 based on several
purposes
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 in North
America
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, South
America
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,
Europe
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, Africa, Central
Asia
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, and South East
Asia
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are three main types of
purposes
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 across these six areas of the world. It can be observed that most
water
Use synonyms
usage
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 in North
America
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 and
Europe
Use synonyms
 is mainly used for industrial
purposes
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 which accounts for roughly 50% (48% and 53% respectively).
In contrast
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, the rest of the six areas largely focus on using
water
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 for crop cultivation as it takes 71% of
water
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 consumption in South
America
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, 84% in Africa, 88% in Central
Asia
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, and 81% in Southeast
Asia
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.
Moreover
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, South
America
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, Africa, and Central
Asia
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 show the least favour in using
water
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 for industrial use and the proportions account for merely 10%, 7%, and 5% respectively.
Furthermore
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, a similar pattern can be seen in North
America
Use synonyms
 and
Europe
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 where the proportions of
water
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usage
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 for domestic use are the lowest at 13% for the former area and 15% for the latter.
In addition
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, in Southeast
Asia
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,
water
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 is prone to be used for industrial activities (12%) after agricultural activities.
To sum up
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,
water
Use synonyms
usage
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 for industrial
purposes
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 is dominant in North
America
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 and
Europe
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,
whereas
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 its counterpart for agricultural use plays a main role in the rest of the mentioned areas.
Submitted by Phạm Hải Anh on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, usage, purposes, america, europe, asia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • irrigation
  • domestic
  • industrial
  • regional disparity
  • economic structure
  • sustainable management
  • water-scarce
  • population density
  • urbanization
  • data trends
  • resource allocation
  • percentage distribution
  • extremes
  • variations
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