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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph provides information about the percentage of tourists to England who visited brighton attractions in the last decades.

The graph provides information about the percentage of tourists to England who visited brighton attractions in the last decades.
#information #percentage #tourists #england #brighton #attractions #decades
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The graph provides information about the percentage of
tourists
Use synonyms
 to England who visited
brighton
Change the capitalization
Brighton
show examples
 attractions in the
last
Linking Words
 decades. There are two basic general attractions:downward and upward.As regards the first,the percentages for
Pavilion
Use synonyms
 were higher in 1980,increasing significantly from almost 25
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 a month to just 31
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2010.
By contrast
Linking Words
,the percentage for the other three attractions went down than
Use synonyms
pavilion
Correct article usage
the pavilion
show examples
.
there
Capitalize word
There
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 was a rise in Pier`s
tourists
Use synonyms
,over the first 20 years,followed by a sudden increase to 21
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,the
Use synonyms
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 for both art
gallery
Fix the agreement mistake
galleries
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 and
Add an article
the festival
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festival
Fix the agreement mistake
festivals
show examples
also
Linking Words
 ended the year down in 2010.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,the
persentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
Art
Correct article usage
the Art
show examples
gallery
Fix the agreement mistake
galleries
show examples
 fell steadily ending the year at about 8
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,the
Use synonyms
tourists
Correct quantifier usage
number of tourists
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
Pavilion
Use synonyms
 was upward.Between 1980 and 2010,the
Use synonyms
tourists
Correct quantifier usage
number of tourists
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 Festival were almost 28
percent
Use synonyms
.It can be said that the percentages in the
last
Linking Words
 15 years
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the same.The
Use synonyms
tourists
Correct quantifier usage
number of tourists
show examples
 in Pier in the 30 years,
counting
Correct word choice
and counting
show examples
 by
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 doubled from 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.Anyway,
that is
Linking Words
 a good result for
this
Linking Words
 attraction. The noticeable information for
Pavilion
Use synonyms
 is that the percentage for
Pavilion
Use synonyms
 was the highest result between the
attracttions
Correct your spelling
attractions
attraction
 in Brighton.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, last".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tourists, pavilion, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "provides" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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