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Band 4.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.
#information #families #country #income
The graph
illustrations
Replace the word
illustrates
show examples
 the data about in 1968 and 2018 how family
spented
Correct your spelling
spend
spent
 their money in weekly in one country.
Overall
, people
spended
Correct your spelling
spent
show examples
 a lot of money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 food
campared
Correct your spelling
compared
 to other
typs
Correct your spelling
types
 of
speading
Correct your spelling
spending
spreading
speeding
 was highest
un
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 1968.
However
,
this
partent
Correct your spelling
parent
 had
change
Change the verb form
changed
show examples
 in 2018,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 family using their money equally
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 food,
gousing
Correct your spelling
housing
 and leisure.
Firstly
, the
speading
Correct your spelling
spreading
speeding
 type of food was
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
higher than
other type
Change the wording
another type
other types
show examples
 around 35% in 1968
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but decreased
dramatic
Change the adjective
dramatically
show examples
 in 2018. In
addtion
Correct your spelling
addition
, the percentage of
speading
Correct your spelling
spending
speeding
 in housing and clothing was similar
perseatage
Correct your spelling
percentage
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
secound
Correct your spelling
second
 higher
Change preposition
than thps
show examples
thps
Correct your spelling
that
 of
speading
Correct your spelling
spending
speeding
spreading
 around 10%.
On the other hand
, household goods, personal goods and transport
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 nearly 10%.
Secondly
, there was
diferent partent
Correct your spelling
different parties
 in 2018. The percentage of leisure was
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
 spending compared to
other type
Change the wording
another type
other types
show examples
also
 more than double that of 1968.
Furthermore
 housing
speading
Correct your spelling
spreading
spending
speeding
 in 2018 was
also
 higher
tham
Correct your spelling
than
1968
Change preposition
in 1968
show examples
 around 10%
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
 highest
speading
Correct your spelling
spending
spreading
speeding
.
Submitted by chien10955 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Weekly income
  • Expenditure
  • Consumption patterns
  • Cost of living
  • Discretionary spending
  • Inflation
  • Economic indicators
  • Demographics
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Technology advancements
  • Government policies
  • Consumerism
  • Lifestyle changes
  • Fiscal habits
  • Budget allocation
  • Financial priorities
  • Societal trends
  • Purchasing power
  • Income distribution
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