IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

courses in music and art should be compulsory for student in high school. Do you agree or disagree with the idea?

#courses #music #art #student #school #idea
A glance at a table provided reveals the data of temperatures and
hours
 of daylight of two distinct megacities namely
Mumbai
 and
Moscow
 on the weekends in 2007, counted in C
degree
.
Overall
,
although
Mumbai
’s
duration
 was much hotter than that of
Moscow
,
Moscow
 has longer daylight
hours
. In terms of
temperature
, in
Mumbai
, the margin of
duration
 was stable. The min
temperature
 remained unchanged at 29
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 three days,
whereas
, Saturday was the hottest
day
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 35
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
. In
Moscow
, the range of
temperature
 was significantly erratic.
Although
 its max
temperature
maintained
Add a missing verb
was maintained
show examples
 from 8 to 10
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
 on the weekend, the min one witnessed an erratic fluctuation.
While on
Correct word choice
On
show examples
 Friday, the min
duration
 started at 4 before rapidly increasing to 9, followed by a sharp drop to 3 on Sunday which was the warmest
day
. Regarding the
duration
, the period of
day time
Correct your spelling
daytime
show examples
 in
Mumbai
 was 10
hours
while
 that of
Moscow
 was 18
hours
 which was much longer.
While
 the sun in
Mumbai
 rose at exactly 6
a.
Correct your spelling
a.m.
m
 and set at about 4
p.
Correct your spelling
p.m.
m
,
Moscow
 started a
day
 at merely 5
a.
Correct your spelling
a.m.
m
 and ended at over 10 p.
m
.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: