The bar chart shows the percentage of the total world population in 4 countries in 1950 and 2002, and projections for 2050.

The bar chart shows the percentage of the total world population in 4 countries in 1950 and 2002, and projections for 2050.
The bar
praph
Correct your spelling
graph
demonstrates the
percentage
of the total
world
population
in four major countries in 1950 and 2002, and estimation for 2050.
Overall
,
China
and
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
constitute the largest
portion
in every period.
However
,
while
the
percentage
of the total
world
population
in
India
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
over time, the percentages of every other
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
including
China
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
.
Firstly
, in 1950,
China
had the largest
portion
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
world
Change noun form
world's
show examples
population
. It took 23% of
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
world
Change noun form
world's
show examples
population
,
while
India
took 15%.
USA
Correct article usage
The USA
show examples
and
Japan
have
considerable
Add an article
a considerable
show examples
percentage
as well, which was 7% and 4%
repectively
Correct your spelling
respectively
. As time passed by, in 2002,
India
's
percentage
rised up
Verb problem
rose
show examples
to 17%
while
China
's
percentage
decreased to 20%. Meanwhile,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
experienced severe loss and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
5%, and
Japan
's
portion
decreased to 3%
Lastly
, in 2050, It is estimated that
India
will have the largest
portion
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
populartion
Correct your spelling
population
. It will reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
18%,
while
China
's ratio will decrease to 15%.
On the other hand
,
USA's
Correct article usage
the USA's
show examples
percentage
will remain
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
as
2002
Change preposition
in 2002
show examples
,
while
the
percentage
of
Japan
shrink to 1% of the total
world
population
. In summary,
India
and
China
have the largest
population
in all periods,
while
the
percentage
of
India
is expected to surpass that of
China
in 2050.
USA
Correct article usage
The USA
show examples
have relatively similar percentages in the three periods, around 5%,
while
Japan
's ratio will shrink from 4% to 1% in 2050.
Submitted by eerkare on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, world, population, china, india, portion, usa, japan with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 10 times.
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart
  • percentage
  • total world population
  • countries
  • 1950
  • 2003
  • projections
  • 2050
  • comparison
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • stable
What to do next:
Look at other essays: