IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people's salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and schools. Others feel that high taxes are a bad thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #proportion #salaries #services #roads #schools #taxes
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The first
group
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 of individuals believes that the government should take a high percentage of people's salaries, in order to pay for public
services
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such
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 as roads and schools. The second
group
Use synonyms
 of individuals claims that having high taxes is a bad thing. Generally speaking, taxes are a crucial aspect of a certain country's economy and providing public goods and
services
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,
such
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 as roads, schools, healthcare, and public safety. On the one hand, the first
group
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 strongly believes that higher taxes are helping reduce income inequality between the
better off
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better-off
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 and the less
well off
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well-off
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, by using a dynamic change in the percentage, based on a person's income.
Moreover
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, additional payments can
also
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 be funded through social programs that protect the most vulnerable,
for example
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, the homeless or handicapped.
On the other hand
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, the second
group
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 of individuals considers that lowering payments can encourage business activities.
In addition
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, they
also
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 highlight individual freedom, explaining that people should have the right to decide how to spend their own money
instead
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 of having a large portion taken by the government.
Furthermore
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, corruption is the main problem in every country. The majority of the second
group
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 could be from less developed countries, where it could be a real problem
by taking
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to take
show examples
 approximately half of the money from their wallets.
To sum up
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, I believe that the debate over tax rates is about finding the balance between funding public
services
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 and allowing individual financial freedom. High tax rates can provide important
services
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 and reduce inequality, but they can
also
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 potentially slow down economic growth and limit personal choice.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points, such as statistical data, historical references, or case studies. This will help strengthen your argument and provide more context for your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and flows logically to the next. This will improve the logical structure of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
Enhance the clarity of your ideas by providing more detailed explanations and avoiding overly general statements. This will help make your ideas more comprehensive and easily understood.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing the key points of each side and providing a balanced summary of the discussion.
task achievement
The main points are generally well-supported, and there is a good balance between discussing both views and presenting your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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