IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people believe that teaching children at home is the best for a children's development while others think it is important for children to go to school. Discuss both advantages of each method and give your own opinion.

#people #children #home #development #school #method
There are
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 ways to teach
childern
Correct your spelling
children
. some people think that the best way for
childeren`s
Correct your spelling
children's
 development is teaching them at their houses
while
 in others opinions it is essential for
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 to go to
school
. I will explain both advantages of each way and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 give my opinion.
firstly
Capitalize word
Firstly
show examples
, when parents hire
teacher
Add an article
a teacher
show examples
 for their child to learn
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
 at home it is the best method of learning because their child can
study
 lessons
perofessionally
Correct your spelling
personally
 and more
practical
Change the word
practically
show examples
.
forexample
Correct your spelling
For example
, when
children
 focus on one thing and work hard for it
beside
Replace the word
besides
show examples
this
 their parents get
private
Add an article
a private
show examples
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 for them so they can improve in their path more than others.
Morover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
 they can reach their goals as soon as they want
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 instance, the
children
 want to emigrate and they do not know
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
 so they get
teacher
Correct article usage
a teacher
show examples
 and
study
 at home
as a result
 they reach their aim sooner.
Furthermore
, when
children
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
go to
school
 they become more sociable and find more
freinds
Correct your spelling
friends
.
they
Capitalize word
They
show examples
 can take advice from their
freinds
Correct your spelling
friends
.
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
 addition, they get
competitive
Add an article
a competitive
show examples
 sense so they work harder to be better
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 their
freinds
Correct your spelling
friends
.
they
Capitalize word
They
show examples
 get more experiences at
school
 and their experiences become
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
 for them. they can
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
award
Fix the agreement mistake
awards
show examples
.
forexample
Correct your spelling
for example
, when they become
distinguished
Add an article
a distinguished
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 or when they win in
race
Correct article usage
a race
show examples
 in
school
.
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
 conclusion, both
methodes
Correct your spelling
methods
 have a lot of advantages and it depends on parents
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
ability
Add an article
the ability
show examples
 of
children
 to choose their way.
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
 my opinion, it is better to
study
 lessons at
school
 because
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 work harder than when they
study
 at home.
Submitted by samanehaa2015 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: