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Band 4

Nowadays, people sleep less because of the work, they spend long time in offices and focus on their future career

#people #work #time #offices #focus #future #career
Nowadays,
people
 sleep less because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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work, they spend
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
 time in offices and focus on their future
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
However
, not receiving enough energy from sleep can lead to stress. I believe that insufficient amount of sleep can affect
on
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apply
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people
’s health,
productivity
Correct word choice
and productivity
show examples
 at work. On the one hand, one of the reasons why
people
 sleep less is the mobile phones.
People
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 use electric devices before going to sleep disturb their
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
. In simple words, for better sleep, it is necessary to put your phone away and let your brain relax and prepare for sleep,
otherwise
,
it’s
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its
show examples
 activity would be continued and falling asleep would be a challenge.
For example
, scientists conducted
social
Add an article
a social
show examples
 experiment with two groups,
first
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the first
show examples
 group went to
the
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apply
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bed without using
phone
Add an article
the phone
a phone
show examples
 and another group
was using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
one
show examples
. The results showed that
people
 who used their devices had problems with their sleep,
Correct word choice
while other
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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got enough sleep. On another hand, it can
also
 affect
on
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apply
show examples
people
 around them. The tiredness can cause a stressful atmosphere, which affects
on
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apply
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people
’s mood.
Furthermore
, the aggressor can shout
to
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at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other
people
 and be very annoyed.
For example
,
worker’s
Correct article usage
a worker’s
show examples
 bad mood
influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
their on
his on
her on
show examples
on
Correct your spelling
or
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 their
colleagues
Change to a genitive case
colleague's
colleagues'
show examples
 spirit.
Accordingly
, it can reduce their productivity. In conclusion, I think everyone should get enough sleep and rest. Because,
this
 influence not only on
people
’s behavior, it
also
 affects on their relationships.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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