IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the performance of a bus company in terms of punctuality, both actual and target (what actually happened compared to what the company was trying to achieve), and the number of complaints and passengers.

The charts below show the performance of a bus company in terms of punctuality, both actual and target (what actually happened compared to what the company was trying to achieve), and the number of complaints and passengers.
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The bar graph
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the performance of a bus company with regards to their punctuality, both actual and goal, and the number of complaints and passengers.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the data is that the company lowered their standard percentage throughout the given
period
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the complaints within the given
period
Use synonyms
increases
Replace the word
increased
show examples
. On the one hand, it is noticeable that the company's target percentage slowly
decreases
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 from 86% in 1999 and became under 85% in 2003,
moreover
Linking Words
 the actual figure
off
Change preposition
for
show examples
 services arriving on time
experience
Wrong verb form
experienced
show examples
 a fluctuation. In 1999 the portion was 85%
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 before a gradual dropped by at least 82% in 2000.
However
Linking Words
,
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the following year it significantly
increases
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
, but hovered at the same level until the end
period
Use synonyms
 in 2003 at just under 85%
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the number of complaints (per thousand passenger's journeys) continued to increase within the
4 year
Add a hyphen
4-year
show examples
period
Use synonyms
. In 1999, it was only around under 80 people, before reaching its highest point by 2003 at 120, respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stands" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • punctuality
  • target versus actual performance
  • correlation
  • consistency
  • trends
  • passenger numbers
  • complaints
  • assessment
  • measures taken
  • impact
  • effectiveness
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