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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe online reading materials should only be used for a child to learn to read, whereas others believe only printed material should be used. Discuss both veiws and give your opinion.

It has been frequently argued that young readers ought to use the internet to enhance their knowledge,
whereas
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,
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apply
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 others opine that they should use books, newspapers, or other
such
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 materials.
This
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 essay intends to shed light on both perspectives
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along
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, along
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 with my viewpoint
in
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, in
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 the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, inhabitants
,
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apply
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 who
favor
Change the spelling
favour
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 online learning
,
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apply
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 could have the following reasons for it.
Initially
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, information published online is always up-to-date,
whereas
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 old editions of books frequently include incomplete or inaccurate theories.
For instance
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, traditional scientific principles written in books
,
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apply
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 sometimes have myths as well
,
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;
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consequently
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, it could misguide learners and they would not understand concepts later on.
Besides
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, online resources are cheap and easily accessible
,
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;
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however
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, it is hard to find literature in bookstores
and
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, and
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everyone cannot
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not everyone can
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 afford expensive writing.
On the other hand
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, opponents assume written documents hold great importance in the technical
world
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.
Firstly
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, reading on technical gadgets leads to weak eyesight
,
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;
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 in fact, the majority of the masses are facing eye problems
due to
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 long screening hours.
Secondly
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, in rural or underdeveloped
areas
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areas,
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 newspapers are merely the source of gaining knowledge.
For example
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, in certain parts of the
world
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,
still there are
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there are still
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 some areas
,
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apply
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 where people have poor internet connections, which reduces their access to the
World
Use synonyms
 Wide Web.
Therefore
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, people assume everyone should use printed resources merely to access data
as
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, as
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 it is easy to understand and
could not
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cannot
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 have an adverse impact on their vision. In conclusion, development in modes of sharing knowledge across the
world
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 has improved with developments in the internet,
although
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,
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apply
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 it certainly has some drawbacks as well. In my opinion, both ways of learning have their own importance and should be used together to overcome each other`s drawbacks.

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structure
Use short, simple sentences to make ideas easy to follow.
structure
Link ideas with clear words and keep order: intro, two bodies, and conclusion.
content
Give more real examples to back each point.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar to fix errors that make the meaning hard to read.
structure
Plan is clear with intro, two main parts, and a ending.
content
Shows both sides and adds your view.
coherence
Uses link words to join ideas.
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