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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Percentange of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world

The chart below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Percentange of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world
#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world #information #features #comparisons #percentange
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The pie graphs depict the
proporation
Correct your spelling
proportion
proportions
 of
water
Use synonyms
 in use for the demand of people in 3 aspects including industrial, agricultural and domestic in six regions all
aound
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around
 the world. At first glance,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
water
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 for
imigrating
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immigration
standed
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stood
show examples
 out in almost
areas
Correct determiner usage
all areas
show examples
,
expect
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except
show examples
 North
America
Use synonyms
 and Europe.
In addition
Linking Words
, there are some differences in
water
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 distribution in each part of the world. Looking more closely at the graphs, one can see that the share of used
water
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 in agriculture captured more than 80
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the total
water
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 of the
area’s
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areas
area
show examples
.
South
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In South
show examples
America
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,
similarly
Linking Words
,
water
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 which was provided for farming accounted for around
two-third
Correct your spelling
two-thirds
show examples
 of the total.
However
Linking Words
, in Europe and North
America
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,
water
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demanding
Replace the word
demand
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 field only
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
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 32 and 39
percent
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 respectively. At around 50
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
water
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 for industrial use, it dominated and equalled
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the percentage of two other aspects in North
America
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 and Europe. Meanwhile, the rest regions spent
least
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the least
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 on
this
Linking Words
 field, around 10
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, especially 7
pecent
Correct your spelling
per cent
 and 5
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 respectively in Africa and Central Asia.
Finally
Linking Words
, the same figures in
water
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 used domestically were seen in all the
region
Fix the agreement mistake
regions
show examples
, capturing approximately
at
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apply
show examples
between 7 and 19
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, there are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
differences in distribution in all regions in order to be suitable for each one’s orientation in the future.
Submitted by aesacademyforenglishstudy on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, america, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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