IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#smoker #places
trend
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the trend
show examples
 of smoking in public places
,
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apply
show examples
 has proliferated over
past
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the past
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 few years.
A various
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Various
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school
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schools
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 of
thoughts
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thought
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 on
this
 undisputed issue suggest a ban on
this
 trend as it can have detrimental effects on youth and society as a whole. I opine with
above
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the above
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 notion, and a concrete answer is given below. It is extremely imperative to keep
environment
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the environment
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 clean,
however
, some
people
 choose to light a
cigarrete
Correct your spelling
cigarette
 in public places.
Firstly
, tobacco is a chemical which emits harmful fumes in fresh air when burnt.
Also
, a disturbing odour is left behind in surroundings which
people
 inhale.
In other words
, passive-smoking is done when non-smokers breathe injurious fumes
emmited
Correct your spelling
emitted
 through
such
 products leading to serious
side-effects
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side effects
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 on
human
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the human
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 body.
Secondly
, leftover
cigarretes
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cigarettes
 are
disposed
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ofdisposed
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off
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of
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 in open
sorroundings
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surroundings
 which results
to
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in
show examples
 an increase in Global waste. A good illustration of
this
 is, a recent survey conducted by "
Global
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The Global
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 Waste Management Institute"
depicts
Correct pronoun usage
which depicts
show examples
 a hike in undisposable substances by 1.13% every year which leads to Global Warming.
E-cigarretes
Correct your spelling
E-cigarettes
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
captured a vast market
in
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apply
show examples
nowadays.
In addition
,
vape
Fix the agreement mistake
vaping
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 has become common
in
Change preposition
among
show examples
 youths and
people
 smoke it irrespective of their age.
This
 has a direct impact on
respiratory
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the respiratory
show examples
 systems of teenagers.
People
 smoking
this
 attractive device in public influence non-smokers and they land up in
same
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the same
show examples
 category.
According to
 a recent study by "
Health
Correct article usage
The Health
show examples
 Institute" sales of vapes
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 burgeoned by 23%
since
Change preposition
in
show examples
last
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the last
show examples
 two years, and
this
 trend will
potentionally
Correct your spelling
potentially
 increase in future.
To conclude
, it is a contentious topic,
however
, some corrective measures
such
 as building smoking places in public areas
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 smokers can help control
this
 issue and can benefit society as
whole
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a whole
show examples
.
Submitted by harshveermangat141 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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