A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter • describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team • summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts • say how you think the company should spend the money

#company #area #amount #money #sponsor #children #sports #team #two #years #concerts #feedback #summarise

Hello Mr. John, My name is Kulwinder Kaur writing

this

letter in regards to express my point of view regarding the sponsorship of two different events.

Hence

, I will discuss the detriment of both events and will present my point of view. First of all, sponsoring the sports team for children not only helps the community to get good players in the upcoming time but

also

encourages leadership qualities among the young generation.

Additionally

, it will boost the confidence among kids to achieve their realistic goals

as well as

their mental health. If we consider the sponsorship of open-air concerts twice, it has its own advantages.

For example

, it will help our community to take a break from their daily tasks or work schedule to improve their mental stability.

Moreover

, it is an excellent form of entertainment and art, which boosts our energy as well. In the end, I think it is considerable to spend money on two open-air concerts as it will really improve the mental health of the community. Your sincere Kulwinder Kaur

Submitted by kulwinder250897 on Sun Aug 27 2023

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task response

Ensure that the letter addresses all parts of the task and stays focused on the given topic.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the coherence and cohesion by using appropriate transition words and creating a more structured letter.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

175 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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