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Band 6.5

The chart illustrates consumption of three kinds of fast food by teenagers in Mauritius from 1985 to 2015.

The chart illustrates consumption of three kinds of fast food by teenagers in Mauritius from 1985 to 2015.
#consumption #three #kinds #food #teenagers #mauritius
The provided chart shows the youngsters’ fast-food
consumptions
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consumption
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in
particular
Add an article
a particular
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 area,
Mauritus
Correct your spelling
Mauritius
, between 1985 and 2015.
Overall
, the trends explain the changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 meal preferences among teenagers
time
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from time
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 to time, showing a significant decline in Pizza
while
 hamburgers and fried chicken increased gradually over the period. On one hand, the popularity of pizza dropped dramatically
by
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apply
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eaten
Wrong verb form
eating
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at
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apply
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just less than 10
times
 a
year
 in 2015
while
 in 1985 reaching 60
times
 a
year
.
However
, in
the
Change the article
apply
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2000,
this
 category of
meal
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meals
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experiencing
Wrong verb form
experienced
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 overlapping in the similar point of 2 other foods, reaching around 40
times
 a
year
.
In contrast
, the hamburgers rose significantly, reaching its peak at 70
times
 a
year
 in 2015
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fried chicken
show
Wrong verb form
showed
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 similar patterns, just above 60
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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 a
year
 for both
grops
Correct your spelling
groups
crops
.
In addition
, between 1995 and 2000, the number of fried
chicken
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chickens
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 exceeded hamburgers before it
is
Verb problem
went
show examples
 back to
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
second place in 2015.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words times, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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