Topic: The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#topic #phone #places

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that looking at one's

phones

Fix the agreement mistake

phone

show examples

antisocial

Rephrase

as antisocial

show examples

as smoking and so it is

also

banned in certain

places

. It is undeniable that smoking and wasting

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

time by looking at

phone

Correct article usage

a phone

show examples

has become an essential part of our life.

However

, there is no absolute argument on whether both of them should be banned or limited

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some

places

. A commonly held belief is that even when

person

Correct article usage

a person

show examples

surrounded

Add a missing verb

is surrounded

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with

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a lot of friends,

also

spends

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

using

phone

Add an article

the phone

a phone

show examples

. As evidence of

this

they point to nowadays there is

increasingly

Correct article usage

an increasingly

show examples

concerning problem of technology consuming our daily lives, chiefly

within

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among

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kids and teenagers, and so I believe must be battled.

Furthermore

, I think that

people

should live

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show examples

the moment and not be preoccupied with their mobile

phones

Thus

, the idea of banning

phones

in certain

places

like clubs and restaurants can remind

people

that life can not be lived through the pixels of a screen.

On the other hand

, some

people

claim that smoking is inherently antisocial and I don't think that a complete ban on

phones

completely

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a completely

show examples

good idea.

For example

, they may mention that

people

have made acquaintances or even friends through smoking.

In addition

, smokers go outside, away from most of the others,

sharing

Correct word choice

and sharing

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a cigarette with someone in

this

quiet environment can be a good time to get to know someone. The explanation lies in the fact that

phones

should not be fully banned but only strongly discouraged

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apply

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since they are

predominant

Correct article usage

a predominant

show examples

means of

communications

Fix the agreement mistake

communication

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and extremely helpful in emergency situations.

Therefore

people

should not be looking at them constantly when they go out but they should still have access to their mobile in case they need to respond quickly. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account in our final analysis we can say that mobile

phones

can be harmful in social interactions and certain

places

should prohibit them,

although

not to the point that they can not be accessed.

Submitted by dnm.best on Mon Aug 28 2023

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Your opinion

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

335 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic: The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the government of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?

E-mail has had a huge impact on professional and social communication,but this impact has been negative as well as positive. Do the disadvantages of usinge-mail outweigh the advantages

Some people say patriotism causes problems and is negative overall. Others feel that it is beneficial for society at large. Do the advantages of patriotism outweigh its disadvantages

In the past, many male leaders have led our society to conflicts and violence. The world would be better governed and more peaceful if it was ruled by women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Developed countries have created many environmental problems in the World, particularly in their contribution to global warming. Why is global warming a problem? What can be done to reduce the dangers of global warming?