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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. How sugar is produced from sugar cane (1) Growing (12-18 months) WRIT You sh Write E in ti are WI Give knov Writ Sugar canes (2) Harvesting 3) Crushing Sugar cane: Drying and cooling - Sugar Juice (4) Purifying juice Limestone filte 6) Evaporator (juice becomes syrup) (6) Centrifuge (separates sugar crystals from syrup) Heat

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. How sugar is produced from sugar cane (1) Growing (12-18 months) WRIT You sh Write E in ti are WI Give knov Writ Sugar canes (2) Harvesting 3) Crushing Sugar cane: Drying and cooling - Sugar Juice (4) Purifying juice Limestone filte 6) Evaporator (juice becomes syrup) (6) Centrifuge (separates sugar crystals from syrup) Heat
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The diagram illustrates the procedure of
sugar
Use synonyms
 from
sugar
Use synonyms
 cane.
Overall
Linking Words
, the process has seven methods of procedure using machines and man-made.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
sugar
Use synonyms
 cane grows until 12-18 months of period.
Then
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, it is harvested by two methods . The first one is using machinery and the other one is used by humans. After, the plants are put into a machine for crushing to extract the juice.
Moreover
Linking Words
, juices contain a mixture of tiny substances
thus
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, it filtered by using a limestone filter to make a clear juice.
Furthermore
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, purified juice becomes heat
due to
Linking Words
 making syrup from evaporating. Continuously, centrifuge, the syrup to extract
sugar
Use synonyms
 crystals.
Finally
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, make
sugar
Use synonyms
 by drying and cooling.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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