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Band 5

It is better for students to study from home rather than go to school. Do you agree or disagree?

#students #study #home #school
It is debated that
students
 should
study
 from home
instead
 of having
lessons
 at
school
. In
this
 essay, the writer concludes that
students
 should be encouraged to
study
 at
school
 in order to get the best qualities of education and enhance other essential skills. The most important benefit of going to
school
 is it will keep
teenagers
to concentrate
Change the verb form
concentrating
show examples
 on
lessons
 and
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 the tests honestly. Because
teenagers
 do not have adequate discipline,
so
Rephrase
apply
show examples
they spend their time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
playing and relaxing rather than
focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
show examples
 on their
lessons
 at home. Another example is
while
 taking
test
Add an article
the test
a test
show examples
 online,
students
 can gain helps
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 copying from the internet or chatting with their friends. All of
these problem
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
 can be solved as long as
teenagers
 examine in a stricter and more formal
school
 environment.
Consequencely
Correct your spelling
Consequently
, scores refer to their own abilities, and they can be taught with more suitable
lessons
instead
 of depending on
limited
Correct article usage
the limited
show examples
 knowledge of their parents if they
study
 from home. Schools not only provide a huge amount of knowledge but
also
 a friendly environment where
students
 can have more good terms with their friends. They
also
 get used to
speak
Change the verb form
speaking
show examples
 in front of
Correct article usage
the publics
show examples
publics
Fix the agreement mistake
public
show examples
,
behave
Wrong verb form
behaving
show examples
 politely with teachers at
school
 and
manage
Wrong verb form
managing
show examples
 the time to enter the
school
 on time. These essential soft skills play a crucial role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their success in the future. In conclusion, I strongly believe that
school
 is the best environment to
study
 for
teenagers
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high-quality courses are provided and soft skills can be
practiced
Change the spelling
practised
show examples
 frequently.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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