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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

PEOPLE NOWADAYS ARE NOT FIT AND ACTIVE THAN THE PEOPLE FROM THE OLDEN DAYS. DISCUSS THE CAUSES FOR THIS SITUATION AND SUGGEST SOME POSSIBLE Solutions?

#people #situation
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It has always been argued that these days
people
Use synonyms
 are not physically fit and non-active compared to the individuals from the previous days.
This
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 essay will not only elucidate the reasons but
also
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 scrutinize how they can be solved in subsequent paragraphs. Foremost, Why
people
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 nowadays are not fit and active?
This
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 is because of the excessive
use
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 of technology. To elaborate, after the invention of digitalization
people
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 have totally depended on electronic gadgets. They do not work by themselves they only do by machines as it is the easiest method.
Consequently
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, they are facing many obstacles related to their well-being
such
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 as obesity, back pain and many more.
Besides
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this
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,
people
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 love to eat junk food which gives more fat to their bodies with
this
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people
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 become lethargic.
For instance
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, a survey conducted by Harward University revealed that in America 90% of the population prefer to
use
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 technical gadgets in their domestic work and on their jobs with
this
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 they are not fit in their body and suffer from health problems. Despite the above-mentioned, there are some
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
that
firstly
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, humans should less
use
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
machinery and
done
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
it
 by themselves with
this
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 they become
fit
Rephrase
as fit
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 and active as the previous generation. Parents ought to give knowledge about street food and what are the drawbacks of it and indulge in sports activities with the assistance of
this
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 they always think before
eat
Change the verb form
eating
show examples
 outside food because they know they take it
then
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 they become unfit.
To conclude
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,
people
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 like to
use
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 technology because it makes the easiest life for
people
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, but it has an adverse impact on
people
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's health and commoners have junk because of their unique taste, whilst there number of ways to eradicate
this
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 issue. It is the responsibility of
people
Use synonyms
 and parents.
Submitted by deepikanayyar1996 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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