The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate. Write a report describing the information shown in the two pie graphs.

#graphs #show #survey #children #activities #first #leisure #boys #second #girls #report #information #two

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The two pie graphs illustrate

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

how many

boys

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and

girls

Use synonyms

participate in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cultural and leisure

activities

Use synonyms

. the first

graph

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shows

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

information about the

activities

Use synonyms

which are commonly famous in

boys

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i.e. basketball, skateboarding, soccer etc

while

Linking Words

the other

graph

Use synonyms

depicts

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

information about the

activities

Use synonyms

of girl's interest i.e. dancing, netball, gymnastics etc. there are

also

Linking Words

some

activities

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which are common in both

boys

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and

girls

Use synonyms

i.e.

computer

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

, reading and listening to music. The first pie

graph

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shows

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

activities

Use synonyms

boys

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which illustrates that

computer

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games

Use synonyms

are the most played

games

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boys

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which

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

34%

while

Linking Words

the second most performed activity is basketball which is around 26%.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the

graph

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which depicts the information about

girls

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tells

Verb problem

shows

show examples

that the most performed activity by

girls

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are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

dancing which is 27% and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

reading which is 21%.

Use synonyms

girls

Capitalize word

Girls

show examples

do not take

interest

Correct article usage

an interest

show examples

computer

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games

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. In conclusion,

boys

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and

girls

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have different interests in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cultural and leisure

activities

Use synonyms

According to

Linking Words

the graphs, it is proved that

boys

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spend more time

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apply

show examples

playing field

games

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and

computer

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games

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but

girls

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invest their time and energy in dancing which is good for health and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

reading which is good for developing a good intellectual mindset.

Additionally

Linking Words

, the percentage of listening

music

Change preposition

to music

show examples

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

for both

boys

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and

girls

Use synonyms

Submitted by khannaughty26 on Tue Aug 29 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls, activities, graph, computer, games with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 6 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "depicts" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "illustrate" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.

▼

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

222 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pie graph/chart
survey
cultural activities
leisure activities
participate
percentage
engage in
contrast
significantly
minimally
gender differences
equal participation
synthesize
trends
analyze
highlight
unexpected
popular/unpopular

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