Obesity is a serious problem in many countries, especially in rich countries. Discuss ways to solve the problem. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#obesity #countries #support

OVER THE DECADES,

Obesity

has been a significant issue in our lives, particularly in wealthy countries.

Due to

the sedentary lifestyle

as well as

fast

food

, it is widely known that

obesity

highly

Rephrase

apply

show examples

increasing day by day. After analyzing the fundamental reasons for

obesity

this

essay will present plenty of solutions. The first significant thing to be considered is that providing people eat too much fast

food

and maintain a sedentary lifestyle,

obesity

can be disseminated faster than ever. To illustrate, American and English people are passionate about fast

food

due to

the fact that it is cheaper than other nutrition.

Furthermore

, they prefer driving cars to walking.

Consequently

this

can increase the risk of

obesity

enormously.

According to

one of the research projects I have read recently, half of young American individuals deal with higher weight problems. Another issue is that these youngsters struggle with depression

due to

obesity

. As far as the solutions are concerned, the governments should decline the spreading of fast-

food

consumption by encouraging healthy

food

as well as

an active lifestyle. Not only should youngsters eat healthy

food

, but

also

, they had better carry out regular exercise.

Moreover

, the government must assign successful nutritionists

as well as

psychologists to every company or school. From a recent survey conducted by the New York Times, they came to know that 50

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

of people lost 8 lbs thanks to the continuous support of dieticians and therapists. Apart from the government, the family structure is closely linked to

obesity

problems;

that is

why, it is crucial to obtain family support. Compared to rich countries, it is observed that family ties are of paramount importance. Thanks to

this

, the

obesity

rate demonstrates highly low data. Taking everything into account , though

obesity

is a severe issue in the developed world

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if the above steps are taken into account, the situation will surely improve in the coming decades

Submitted by haticecoza on Tue Aug 29 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt adequately and provides relevant solutions to the problem of obesity. However, the introduction and conclusion could be stronger and more focused on the task at hand. Additionally, the essay lacks depth in analyzing the fundamental reasons for obesity, which could enhance the overall task response.

coherence cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure of the essay is well-maintained for the most part, with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more explicit in presenting the main points and summarizing the content of the essay. Additionally, the essay could benefit from more cohesive devices to connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

319 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
There is more and more outrage and anger common in society today. Why is this? is this a positive or a negative development?
Due to this, modern era,the volume of enmity and annoyance is enmity and annoy are inclined as compared to the last few years. The main cause is technology as well as
5
band
Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think that other factors such as television, friend, music have the biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
People hold differing views about key factors which act as role models to the children’s future prospective. Some people including myself consider immediate family to play an irreplaceable role to their offspring while others believe that surrounding elements such as friendships and media appear to be even more effective.
4
band
In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is appropriate in today's world?
In certain nations, secondary schools focus on offer general education through whole subjects. In others, students pay attention to specific topics connected to some career paths. In modern days, I prefer to focusing on certain topics, which I will explore in the following essay.
8
band
1.You have joined a new job recently. Write to your friend about your new job. In your letter •describe the reason for quitting the previous job •show your excitement for a new job and other details •say about your salary package
How are you? I have been planning on writing to you for days but have been occupied in the onboarding formalities of my new job. Yes, you heard it right. I have quit my old teaching job.
6.5
band
Some people feel that learning a foreign languageis an essential component of a child's education. Others feel that learning a foreign language is often a waste of time that can be better spent on learning technologyand other vocational subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In this day and age, several schools around the world always focus on language subjects and vocational subjects. However, some people think that language subjects do not impact children when compared with technology and vocational because nowadays is a globalization era. In my opinion, both subjects are essential for living as well and it depends on what children are interested in and their future work.

Obesity is a serious problem in many countries, especially in rich countries. Discuss ways to solve the problem. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Include an introduction and conclusion

There is more and more outrage and anger common in society today. Why is this? is this a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think that other factors such as television, friend, music have the biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is appropriate in today's world?

1.You have joined a new job recently. Write to your friend about your new job. In your letter •describe the reason for quitting the previous job •show your excitement for a new job and other details •say about your salary package

Some people feel that learning a foreign languageis an essential component of a child's education. Others feel that learning a foreign language is often a waste of time that can be better spent on learning technologyand other vocational subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.