Obesity is a serious problem in many countries, especially in rich countries. Discuss ways to solve the problem. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#obesity #countries #support

OVER THE DECADES,

Obesity

has been a significant issue in our lives, particularly in wealthy countries.

Due to

the sedentary lifestyle

as well as

fast

food

, it is widely known that

obesity

highly

Rephrase

apply

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increasing day by day. After analyzing the fundamental reasons for

obesity

this

essay will present plenty of solutions. The first significant thing to be considered is that providing people eat too much fast

food

and maintain a sedentary lifestyle,

obesity

can be disseminated faster than ever. To illustrate, American and English people are passionate about fast

food

due to

the fact that it is cheaper than other nutrition.

Furthermore

, they prefer driving cars to walking.

Consequently

this

can increase the risk of

obesity

enormously.

According to

one of the research projects I have read recently, half of young American individuals deal with higher weight problems. Another issue is that these youngsters struggle with depression

due to

obesity

. As far as the solutions are concerned, the governments should decline the spreading of fast-

food

consumption by encouraging healthy

food

as well as

an active lifestyle. Not only should youngsters eat healthy

food

, but

also

, they had better carry out regular exercise.

Moreover

, the government must assign successful nutritionists

as well as

psychologists to every company or school. From a recent survey conducted by the New York Times, they came to know that 50

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

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of people lost 8 lbs thanks to the continuous support of dieticians and therapists. Apart from the government, the family structure is closely linked to

obesity

problems;

that is

why, it is crucial to obtain family support. Compared to rich countries, it is observed that family ties are of paramount importance. Thanks to

this

, the

obesity

rate demonstrates highly low data. Taking everything into account , though

obesity

is a severe issue in the developed world

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if the above steps are taken into account, the situation will surely improve in the coming decades

Submitted by haticecoza on Tue Aug 29 2023

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task response

Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt adequately and provides relevant solutions to the problem of obesity. However, the introduction and conclusion could be stronger and more focused on the task at hand. Additionally, the essay lacks depth in analyzing the fundamental reasons for obesity, which could enhance the overall task response.

coherence cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure of the essay is well-maintained for the most part, with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more explicit in presenting the main points and summarizing the content of the essay. Additionally, the essay could benefit from more cohesive devices to connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

319 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Obesity is a serious problem in many countries, especially in rich countries. Discuss ways to solve the problem. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reason for this?How can people research this?

In many contries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that this the responsibility of governments to solve the problem. What extent do you agree or disagree?

Promotions to higher levels should be from within a company and not to new person from outside . Do you agree or disagree?

The best way to solve world’s traffic and environmental problems is increase the cost of fuel. Do you agree or disagree and give your own opinion?

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extend do you agree or disagree?