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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar graph shows the number of man and woman participants in the olympics between 1924 to 2012

The bar graph shows the number of man and woman participants in the olympics between 1924 to 2012
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The bar graph shows the number of
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 participants in the Olympics. As is presented, we can see that each bar graph indicates the difference between the
men
Use synonyms
 number and
women
Use synonyms
 from 1924-2012.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown in the bar graph, you can see the difference between the proportion of
women
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
 in different years, begins with the year 1924 the rate of
men
Use synonyms
 was higher than the
women
Use synonyms
 rates, later on at 1952 the male rate increases to 4300 and the woman rate start to rise to reach to 500. Now let’s move on to the next year's rates between 1984 and 2012 In the year 1984 the
men
Use synonyms
's rates kept on increasing reaching more than 5000 but the
women
Use synonyms
 a surge reaching 1500.

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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender ratio
  • inclusion
  • significant gap
  • gradual increase
  • key Olympics
  • notable increase
  • policy changes
  • closing gender gap
  • socio-political factors
  • feminist movements
  • gender equality
  • parity
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