IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. however, there days fewer and fewer people appreciate art turn their focus to science, technology and business. why do you think that is? what could be done to encourage more people to take internet in the arts?

#art #part #cultures #world #people #focus #science #technology #business #internet #arts
Competition
 and
cooperation
 are both ways that people interact with each other. I believe
children
 should learn how to cooperate to become skilled citizens.
However
, the sense of race is
also
 helpful to
children
 to improve their individual abilities.
To begin
 with, I think
competition
 is the key to a successful citizen,
team
 and civilization, rather than
competition
.
Firstly
, all works in human humanity are organized by human beings with various gifts and no gifts can be substituted.
For example
,a professor who grasps all knowledge in his major needs to coordinate with his assistant who is good at dealing with basic trifles to organize a lecture.
Cooperation
 utilizes the strengths of
team
members
 in order to reach a common goal.
Moreover
,
cooperation
 has a higher efficiency since it amplifies advantages and lessens weak points of
team
members
, and the total efficiency would be enhanced.
For example
, when
children
 are assigned to complete a
team
 work, a
team
 in which
members
 cooperate is usually more organised than a
team
 work individually.
However
,
children
 might lose personal competency by solely focusing on partnership. Society needs competent individuals as well to take single-person jobs. The sense of
competition
 should be taught to endow
children
 with the importance of individual ability and exerting their talents.
Although
 most of the work can be done in a
team
, citizens understand diverse working power and skills are more in favour of civilization.
For example
,
members
 of teams should know how to win their responsibilities in order to compete with other teams.
Overall
, I think schools should arrange
cooperation
 as the priority because it is the principle of civilization.
Moreover
,
children
 need
also
 understand how to be competitive and improve themselves to exert their talents and hold their positions in society.
Submitted by xiaol8616 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: