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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

the family values are deteriorating ,what are the positive and negative changes? what is your opinion

#values #changes
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In
this
 modern era family values are
disbalanced
Correct your spelling
imbalanced
 nowadays
due to
overuse
Correct article usage
the overuse
show examples
 of gadgets and drug addiction . I will discuss both positive and negative thoughts in the upcoming
peragraph
Correct your spelling
paragraph
paragraphs
. I think it is a negative development. To commence with, family values are now deteriorating
due to
distance
Correct article usage
the distance
show examples
 maintained in
families
.
Firstly
, distance maintained in
families
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
due to
 addiction
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 gadgets and toxic substances. It is a negative development in
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
 because
due to
this
families
 cannot sit together and talk to each other which will lead to fights in
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
. To
examplify
Correct your spelling
exemplify
, In
bengal
Change the capitalization
Bengal
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, a son
kill
Wrong verb form
killed
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 his mother
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
 his mother
snatch
Wrong verb form
snatched
show examples
phone
Correct article usage
the phone
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 from his son.
On the other hand
, there are some positive changes of deteriorating in
families
such
 as
families
 are now
dependable
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
 on each other they only have one person in their family who
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
job
Add an article
the job
show examples
 to feed their family which will
also
 lead to fights in
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
. It
also
raise
Change the verb form
raises
show examples
 the cases of divorce. To elaborate with
example
Add an article
an example
the example
show examples
, In
gujrat
Change the capitalization
Gujrat
show examples
, a husband kicked his wife out because his wife was dependent on him and
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 free all day.
To conclude
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 restate my opinion
fights
Correct word choice
that fights
show examples
 raised
due to
 deteriorating in
familiss
Correct your spelling
families
 cannot be neglected in front of being dependent on
families
.
Submitted by buttargurpinder73 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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